Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts

23 March 2012

Time Has Ended, Bye

Meandering and wandering around online this morning looking for something inspiring to blog I found the video below on YouTube.  It isn’t all that inspiring, so to speak, but it does go along with the theme of the post I did yesterday on exposing abusers for what they are

The main point I want you to take away from watching this video is this:  abusers manipulate every situation and will use their own kids to do so if that is how they can get the job done!!!  When the Family Courts are trying to decide which parent would be ‘in the best interest of the child’ to have physical custody they really should pay attention to this type of evidence.  It is a definite sign that a parent is abusive, and clearly does NOT hold their children’s best interest at heart. 

Don’t just listen to the words being said in this video.  Pay attention to the dates and times.  From what it looks like to me, this child is supposed to get to talk to their mom for 15 minutes on certain days and after 2 to 3 minutes each call for months the child is told to end the call by someone in the back ground.

Our hearts go out to this child and his mother!  If you happen to see this, know you are both in our prayers.

 

Do you have an abuser that needs to be exposed like Ray Knutsen?

22 March 2012

Abusers Doin’ What They Do and Gettin’ Exposed

I saw this posted on facebook… and since it said post it everywhere I wanted to share it here but with a few added words from me… so once you read what I’ve copied over please see my comments below it Smile
~~PLEASE BLAST THIS ALL OVER THE INTERNET AND LET ALL WOMEN AND MEN KNOW THE TACTICS OF ABUSERS~~You have got to love it when abusers use the children in an attempt to hurt and further abuse you??? It is so blatantly obvious what they are doing and How they operate.... They have no clue how and what this movement is going to end up like!!!! Keep trying Bucky, YOU ARE EXPOSED... Thank you so much for continuing to give me drive to fight you abusers... Every tactic makes me more and more determined ;-) Nice try though!!!!
Yes, unfortunately abusers DO (always have and always will try) to use the kids as pawns in their own sick little games.  It is hurtful to the victimized parent, BUT what about the kids?  It is damaging to them as well, which just proves that the abuser is an abuser and will try to pull any damn thing they can to continue to control their victims.  Now let me explain a little about the above quote…
A kid texts their mom and says something like hey dad says my sibling needs more clothes.  The mom being a good mom and having clothes at her house calls the other kid to find out what is needed.  Rather than that kid saying I need this or that, that kid goes off on a rant (prompted by the abuser) at the mom. 
All too often abusers get custody of the kids because they have one asset the rest of society doesn’t have… they can charm anyone and can turn that on and off at the drop of a hat.  They are GREAT at manipulating people and they use this skill set they have to control their victims.  These victims include their OWN children!
Do you have an abuser that needs to be exposed like Blake Melinn just was?

30 September 2011

When No One Listens

This is EXACTLY what happens when no one listens to abuse victims!!  Educate yourself and others... I’m not feeling sorry for the abusers that this teen boy killed, I feel sorry for the boy.  For what HE had to endure before he finally broke and had to take matters into his own hands because NO ONE LISTENED all those years ago!!

From Dastardly Dads:

The mom lost custody of this boy nine years ago, right after she divorced the father. Her description of the marriage paints a distinct picture of a controlling abuser: Isolated her at home, wouldn't "allow" her to see friends. Strict "disciplinarian" who was "severe" with her and the child (i.e. physically violent). Unfortunately, Mom blames what she calls a severe depression for why she lost custody. In reality, feelings of hopelessness and despair are normal and predictable among abuse survivors--especially when the abuser goes on to take their children away from the mother and cut off all contact (must have total control, you know). And none of this can take place unless the courts aid and abet the abuser. But the article doesn't go into that....
And now the son is accused of killing his father, CHRISTIAN LIEWALD.
Who are the people who wouldn't listen to this mother? Let's name names, shall we?
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/29319392/detail.html
Homicide suspect's mother says warning signs were there
Posted: 4:51 pm EDT September 27, 2011
Updated: 6:20 pm EDT September 27, 2011
CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- The mother of a teenager charged with killing his father and stepmother says she could see trouble coming, even when he was a child.
Shelby Hodges told Eyewitness News that she has not seen her son, Matthew Liewald, for nine years, since she and her husband Christian Liewald divorced.
Early Monday morning police said Matthew shot and killed Christian Liewald and his wife Cassie at their home south of Pineville, and Hodges said she knew when she saw the story on the news that her son might have been involved.
"I saw it. I recognized the street name. I told my husband, I said, 'It's Matthew,'" Hodges said.
She held a picture of Matthew when he was a toddler and spoke about the boy's father, who had been severe with her and his son.
"(Christian) isolated me when I lived with him, when I was married to him. I wasn't allowed to see my friends," Hodges said.
She said Liewald took the same strict approach to discipline with Matthew, and when the couple divorced she lost custody of the boy because she was severely depressed.
She said that she was concerned when she heard that Christian Liewald and his wife Cassie had taken Matthew out of school and that his intense parenting may have pushed the teen over the edge.
"I think he snapped. I think he just had more abuse than he could handle, and I just hope that now someone will listen to me," she said.
"This is a mother's nightmare. If people had listened to me when I was begging them to help me, it wouldn't have gotten this far."

28 April 2011

Domestic Violence Daily is out! Edition of Thursday, Apr. 28, 2011

 

Domestic Violence Daily

Thursday, Apr. 28, 2011

HEADLINE

Girls Like Us: The Hidden Story of Human Sex Trafficking in America

(Photo: HarperCollins).Teenage girls forced to work as prostitutes under the thumb of violent pimps and traffickers. That something that only happens in faraway places like Cambodia and the Philipp...

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TABLE OF CONTENT

173 articles by 93 contibutors

Living  38

Crime  25

Stories  15

Art & Entertainment  11

Health  5

Education  5

#vaw  18

#dv  4

27 April 2011

Domestic Violence Daily is out! Edition of Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2011

 

Domestic Violence Daily

Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2011

HEADLINE

California policymakers recognize SAAM & Denim Day — CALCASA

The California Coalition Against Sexual Assault continues our strong tradition of reaching out to policymakers and the Administration to raise awareness about sexual violence throughout our state. ...

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137 articles by 92 contibutors

Living  34

Crime  14

Stories  13

Education  8

Art & Entertainment  7

Technology  3

#domesticviolence  4

#denimday  3

26 April 2011

Domestic Violence Daily is out! Edition of Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2011

 

Domestic Violence Daily


Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2011

HEADLINE

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Say NO – UNiTE to End Violence against Women is a global advocacy and communications platform on ending violence against women and girls. It triggers and showcases actions around the world. The glo...

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TABLE OF CONTENT

162 articles by 92 contibutors

Living  31

Crime  28

Art & Entertainment  16

Stories  12

Health  4

Technology  2

#vaw  23

#opsafe  2

11 February 2011

The Daily Caller - Extradite Dr. Phil now

 

http://dailycaller.com/2011/02/09/extradite-dr-phil-now/

Extradite Dr. Phil now

Published: 1:25 PM 02/09/2011

By Grier Weeks

Alaska authorities have charged a woman with child abuse for brutalizing a Russian boy she adopted, but federal authorities should be looking hard at charging television’s “Dr. Phil” McGraw for his role in the crimes.

Jessica Beagley, the 35-year-old wife of an Anchorage police officer, was featured on McGraw’s show forcing the seven-year-old boy to drink hot sauce, verbally assaulting him and then putting him in a cold shower for punishment. The abuse was so disturbing it caused audience members to cry and call for removal of children from Beagley’s home.

Holding the camera throughout the harrowing scene was Beagley’s 10-year-old daughter. The Associated Press reports that McGraw’s producers had asked Beagley to get them footage of her abusing the child, after she sent them a video describing the punishment she planned.

The “Dr. Phil” show sought the footage in order to capture “naturally occurring behaviors and interactions,” claims spokeswoman Stacey Luchs. Beagley and her attorney claim she believed she would get on the show for parenting help.

But McGraw’s producers wanted footage of actual abuse.

Having solicited and received the video, the show promoted it with lurid advertisements, featuring their gritty, child’s-eye-level camera work. McGraw then broadcast the boy’s humiliation on a show entitled, “Mommy Confessions.”

“What happens behind closed doors can be shocking,” McGraw promises his viewers, chin in hand. A split second later, piercing screams emerge from behind a shower curtain.

McGraw’s degenerate production has provoked a minor international incident, focusing attention on abuse by Americans of children adopted from overseas. “This video caused a huge wave of outrage in Russia,” says Andrey Bondarev of the Russian Consulate in Seattle.

An embassy press officer interviewed by ABC News says Russian authorities “are in contact with the U.S. officials regarding this case.” Another official, said to be an assistant to Russia’s Commissioner of Children’s Rights, told the Anchorage Daily News that “there is quite a big chance” of the boy and his twin brother being taken from their American siblings and returned to Russia if Beagley is convicted.

Despite all this, news reports appear blind to the obvious role McGraw played in commissioning the child abuse for his television show. Law enforcement authorities — made aware of the incident by the Russians, if by no one else — also seem to take for granted that television entertainment is an acceptable motive for inducing crimes against children.

No matter how you look at it, it seems clear that McGraw caused abuse to occur that might not otherwise have happened. On the day in question, one child was cruelly assaulted in a staged incident, while a second was forced to hold the camera and film her brother’s suffering for McGraw’s benefit.

Instead of immediately notifying Anchorage authorities of the abuse — and their own role in it — the McGraw show made the decision to take their ill-gotten gain and exploit it for commercial profit. Their actions further exacerbated the pain suffered by both child victims and their siblings, pain that is not over yet.

Phil McGraw should give up every penny of his foul profit immediately, in some arrangement that benefits these or other victims of abuse, without any chance of further contact or manipulation by him and his show. Then he should answer in a court of law, along with Beagley, for his role in this incident.

After that, maybe he can be extradited to Russia. You can see it from Alaska.

Grier Weeks is Executive Director of PROTECT (www.protect.org).

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2011/02/09/extradite-dr-phil-now/#ixzz1Da7lP1w9

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09 February 2011

It’s All About the Power and Control, I Mean the Kids - Part Three

“If you want to change the culture, you will have to start by changing the organization.” ~ Mary Douglas (1921-2007)

Monday and Tuesday I gave you my opinion about the Father’s rights Movement, that I think it may have started out as some good fathers and men attempting to make their children’s lives better.  I said that I believe abusers have taken that over and ultimately made children’s lives worse through the Family Court System.

After all, it is abusers that want to maintain power and control of their victims and could care less about what is really best for their kid’s.  They will twist everything so that it appears to those they are manipulating that the victim is the one in the wrong or that the victim is the abuser.

Today, I felt it was only fair to discuss the various avenues that a truly good father can take to protect him and his children.  I’ve already stated that I don’t believe that just being a parent (whether mom or dad) makes a person a good parent.  There are men out there that are abused by women and there are kids out there that are abused by moms.

Most of the time men that abused will not seek help; mainly for the same reasons a woman won’t, but with the added social embarrassments that women don’t have.  What will their friends and family think about them ‘letting’ a woman abuse?  Men are most often not believed either; by friends, family, and professionals.

The reason for these two additional factors is because the way society as a whole thinks about gender.  A man doesn’t ‘let’ himself be abused anymore than a woman ‘lets’ herself be abused.  No abuse victim wants to be abused, in any way, regardless of what type of abuse it is.  An abuser can gain power and control of their victim in many different ways and the victim rarely sees this happening until it is too late.

When a man finds himself the victim of domestic violence or abuse and seek help they often find no services geared specifically for men.  The main reason for this is that most men (not all) are not abused to the point that they can no longer provide for themselves or that their lives are in physical danger.  The shelters that are set up to help women can’t house abused men in with abused women for many reasons, mainly because many abusers attempt to play themselves off as victims to gain entrance into a shelter to find their victims... horrifying!  But also because most shelters are not set up for co-habitation between males and females.

Organizations and shelters can however still help men that need that help.  The can help them by providing emergency assistance with vouchers for hotel for a couple nights for their safety, this is one of the things a man would have to know to ask for though... even most women don’t know to ask for a voucher when told the shelter is full.

Men can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for Men and Women at 1.888.743.5754 to ask for advice and help in their particular situation.  Online a man can go any of these sites (which I found here):

I would suggest that any man who is a victim of domestic violence visit An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection:  http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/malevictims.shtml  There are a lot of good resources there that can help a man and their children.

There are good fathers out there, I just want them to be able to help themselves and their children without getting sucked into the FR Movement.  After all abusers can manipulate anyone, that is what makes them good at lying in court and getting their way, rather than the best interest of their child being protected by the court.

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08 February 2011

It’s All About the Power and Control, I Mean the Kids - Part Two

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” ~ Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)

Ok, so with that thought in mind I move on to part two of this topic, and oh yes there will be a part three... just don’t you worry. 

As I was saying in part one, the people who make up the Father’s Rights Movement may not have started out where they have ended up.  They originally may have been honestly good fathers and what they have morphed into is the result of many abusers jumping onboard and running away with the movement.

Along these lines the men in the FR Movement have touted and tried to throw in the face of all women (feminists, non-feminists, mothers and every one really) a quote from Gloria Steinem... attempting to ‘prove’ that even SHE sees their side of it, that fathers need to be equal in parenting...  FR’s go on with that thought regardless of whether or not the father is abusive.

The quote I’m referring to is:  “Women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

As far as I can find Gloria Steinem actually said this sentence twice, once in an interview published in the NY Daily News and once in an article she wrote which was published in the Opinion Section of the LA Times.  The LA Times article is no longer available but I found the article copied here, so that I can still reference it.

In both cases the FR Movement refuses to take the quote in the context of what she was actually saying.  Taking shit out of context is one of my biggest pet peeves and in this case shows how totally twisted they have actually gotten it.

In the interview, which was for the occasion of her 75th birthday, she was speaking in a general sense of women’s equality.  What she actually said was: 

“We’ve demonstrated that women can do what men do, but not yet that men can do what women do. That’s why most women have two jobs — one inside the home and one outside it — which is impossible. The truth is that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

In the article she wrote for the LA Times she was speaking about Sarah Palin running for VP.  What she actually said was: 

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can't appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, who suffer more because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

She wasn’t saying that men should be equal in the home, thus supporting fathers being caregivers to young children then turning around and abusing them because they are not equipped to handle it.  What she is saying is that women have TWO jobs, which are impossible to juggle from a man’s point of view... but that women do it everyday.

Yes, she does state that Obama and Biden were campaigning on their belief that men should, can and want to be home for their kids.  She did NOT say she supports that... she specifically used the words “their belief”. 

So, Father’s Rights Activists.... I ask you this, where exactly does Gloria Steinem say you should be allowed to stay home and not work while your children’s mom does and pays you child support to abuse your kids?  I must have missed that.

I still stick to my opinion that most of those in the FR Movement are abusers trying to cram their ideological patriarchal power and control down everyone else’s throats.

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SAY NO - UNiTE to Stop Violence Against Mothers And Their Children - UN Mothers

 

SayNo

Please go to link below sign in and SAY NO-UNiTE To End Violence Against Women AND THEIR CHILDREN.

Stop Violence Against Mothers And Their Children

 

 

As many are aware, there is a silent genocide occurring against women. This is part of a major reason why women all over the world are united to end violence against women.  What many do not know or connect is that a lot of women experiencing violence perpetrated against them are also mothers.  Many ads on stopping violence against women portray women without children as a means to get the message across clearly; but they fail to represent the large proportion of mothers in this situation. 

Experts in intimate partner violence have noted that there is a high correlation between abuse and pregnancy.  Some scholars state that this is because they are envious of the relationship between the mother and the child.  Using violence, coercion and control is often part of the effort to destroy these bonds.  The problem then exacerbates when a mother tries to leave--often not to save herself but to save the child.  Leaving is one of the most dangerous times for all women enduring intimate partner violence, and, accompanied with an inadequate system, the odds are stacked against her.  With a community plagued by stereotypes on child custody cases, closed courtrooms and loopholes in laws compounded by pop-psychology, we have a situation where most mothers in this predicament are torn away from the children they tried to protect.  In the 1980s, Dr Richard Gardner coined the term, “Parent Alienation Syndrome”.  This term remained a term only, because most of the scientific community rejected it.  His literature promoted ideas that victims of abuse were mentally ill and deliberately raised concerns about the abuse as an act of hate.  Dr Richard Gardner also testified in a homicide case where a mother was shot 13 times.  Gardner claimed that her “alienating behavior” drove him to kill her.  Although the scientific community rejected Parent Alienation Syndrome, the legal community embraced it.  Carefully removing the word "syndrome", the belief set remained.  Whilst his work began in US, he traveled around the world promoting these ideas to court professionals and others who had a direct influence on child custody case outcomes.  Some organizations that offer training for judges even held workshops on “maternal gate-keeping”, which trivialized the experiences of women and children leaving intimate partner violence.   Whilst Dr. Gardner passed away several years ago, his doctrine lives on and others have polished up his work to continue its grave influence upon the legal community. 

Mothers are often subjected to degrading treatment within the courtrooms where they are forced to deny their experiences and their need to survive and protect--or they will face jail.  All legal avenues within this culture are blocked.  This is why we have a battered mothers custody conference where mothers, professionals and young people unite to end violence against women and children through the system.  It is why I traveled all the way from Australia to be there this year amongst others who have also traveled from other parts of the globe to attend.  It is a global issue that affects many.  This year, Holly Ann Collins, the first American to receive asylum in Netherlands, spoke about her ordeal.  Revered by many as a brave mother who, against all odds, was able to save herself and her children.  She was listed and hunted by US as an abductor even though they knew why she ran.  She arrived at the airport with a suitcase of evidence which led to her being granted asylum.  She was hard on herself because she did not do it sooner.  Whilst leaving with the children under these circumstances should be seen as the best thing to do, there is no legal avenue to do so.  Some laws and treaties appear from the surface to have some consideration of women and children experiencing violence, but the processes, culture, economics and ambiguity of the situation stifle opportunities to do so.  Holly Ann Collins' outcome is a rare one.  We need better laws that protect mothers and children from violence without punishment or further victimization. 

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17 September 2010

Direct Correlation Between Abuse and Victim Depression

I don’t think I even need to point out the DUH factor here....

Angry Husbands Linked to Depression in Wives

By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Managing Editor

posted: 23 February 2010 10:22 am ET

Depression in women can be fueled by hostile husbands, a new study suggests. But the reverse seems not to be true.

Additionally, warm, positive behavior from husbands lessened the negative impact of their hostile behavior.

In the study, researchers watched 20-minute clips of 416 married couples interacting at home. The videos were coded for two behavior types: anti-social behaviors, which are those that are self-centered, defiant or show a lack of constraint; and hostile behaviors that are angry, critical or rejecting. Participants in the study also reported any symptoms of depression.

For instance, being snippy or curt with a spouse, interrupting her, eye-rolling, sneers and yelling were considered hostile behaviors.

"In the study, husbands' marital hostility was significantly related to increases in wives' symptoms of depression," said study researcher Christine Proulx of the University of Missouri. "The more hostile and anti-social behavior exhibited by husbands, the more depressed their wives were after three years. These findings suggest that husbands' treatment of their wives significantly impacts their psychological well-being and that hostile behavior has a lasting effect on couples that continues throughout their marriages."

On the flip side, the researchers didn't find any link between wives' angry behaviors and their husbands' depression — unless there was a significant life event at the time, including a death in the family or a job loss.

"It is possible that women's well-being is more closely tied to the well-being of their close relationships than is the case for men," Proulx told LiveScience. "So they may be more vulnerable than husbands are when there is hostility in the marriage."

But a greater number of recent, stressful events might put husbands at risk for being negatively impacted by their wives' hostility, according to Proulx.

In the United States, nearly 10 percent of the population suffers from a depressive disorder, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. While the causes of depression vary, a husband's angry behavior could be a contributing factor.

"It's critical that professionals ask people experiencing depression about their close relationships and recognize that their spouse's behavior influences how they feel about life and themselves, especially among women," Proulx said. "It is important to intervene at the couple level and make spouses aware that how they act toward each other has a long-term effect on their emotional and physical well-being."

The study was published in a recent issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.

Angry Husbands Linked to Depression in Wives | LiveScience




23 June 2010

AU: Act aids abusive fathers, imperils children

Really?  Hmmm, finally someone see it!  Hat tip to Annie for this one!

http://www.theage.com.au/national/act-aids-abusive-fathers-imperils-children-20100623-yz3u.html

Act aids abusive fathers, imperils children

ADELE HORIN

June 24, 2010

THE Family Law Act is failing to protect children from ongoing trauma at the hands of abusive and violent fathers, a study has found.

The act's aims of protecting children from violence and giving them ''meaningful involvement'' with both parents was being resolved in favour of contact even in cases of severe domestic violence, the study reveals.

Sydney University education and social work senior lecturer Lesley Laing, the report's author, said more thought needed to be given to what formed a ''meaningful relationship'' when a parent had traumatised a child through domestic violence. ''There is no requirement that a parent who has harmed a child in this way must demonstrate they can offer a safe and meaningful relationship,'' she said.

The report is based on interviews with 22 women, contacted through domestic violence services, who were negotiating parenting arrangements in the family law system. It is the first study that has allowed women experiencing domestic violence to speak about the impact of the 2006 legal changes that put greater emphasis on shared parenting while still maintaining protection in cases of violence.

The women describe a situation where they are discouraged by legal advisers and others from raising violence issues in the Family Court for fear of being seen as an ''unfriendly'' or ''alienating'' parent unwilling to support contact with the father.

''Anything that you do to try and advocate for your children is somehow twisted into being high conflict and parental alienation,'' one woman said. ''So you are basically silenced. And the children are silenced.''

Another said she had agreed to the children having sleepovers at their father's place because she felt she had no choice. Her lawyer had convinced her that if she objected the judge would give the father even more contact.

Dr Laing said some women felt guilty they had escaped violent men but their children had not. ''Forty years ago some women could only escape domestic violence by leaving the children behind, and they were pilloried,'' she said. ''Now there is a new form of child abandonment, at least part time. It's a terrible thing we are asking women to do.''

The report shows the women are battling a complex and unco-ordinated system that often sees state child protection services shunting matters to the Family Court though the court with no powers of investigation.

As well, the women battled community attitudes that regarded them as liars who misused the system. Professionals constantly stressed to the women the importance of fathering, without regard to its quality. It was commonly assumed that at least some contact was inevitable, no matter what violence had occurred, and that supervised contact would eventually move to unsupervised contact.

The study, No Way to Live, will put further pressure on federal Attorney-General Robert McClelland to amend the Family Law Act. An earlier review he commissioned recommended amendments to provide greater protection.




20 June 2010

Abuse Survivor Speaking Out

We found this at Tailored Life Coaching, the link to her post is:  http://tailoredlifecoaching.blogspot.com/2010/06/survivor-story-survivor-and-kids-still.html 

This story was emailed to me to post here to help raise awareness to the issues that victims of domestic violence face.

THIS IS MY STORY...

ON DECEMBER 27, 2007 MY EX CAME HOME AROUND 6 AM DRUNK.  HE ACCUSED ME OF HAVING SOMEONE IN HIS HOUSE THAT DID NOT BELONG.  AT THAT POINT HE SWUNG AT ME, AND HIT ME IN THE SIDE OF MY FACE.  MY BEST FRIEND WAS SITTING ON THE COUCH, AND HE TURNED TO HER AND SAID 'YOU WANT SOME TOO BITCH?'  SHE RAN.  WHEN SHE REACHED HER CAR AND LOCKED HERSELF IN, SHE CALLED 911.  I WAS STILL IN THE HOUSE, TAKING MY BEATING.  WHEN THE POLICE SHOWED UP, IT WAS OBVIOUS THERE HAD BEEN A STRUGGLE. SHELVES HAD BEEN KNOCKED ONTO THE FLOOR, WHEN MY HEAD HIT THEM. MY GLASS COFFEE TABLE WAS SHATTERED. MY FACE WAS BADLY BRUISED. THEY DID NOT TAKE PICTURES. THEY ALMOST LET HIM GO, BECAUSE HE CONTINUOUSLY BEGGED ME NOT TO 'LIE' TO THE POLICE, AND TO PLEASE NOT TO THIS TO HIM.  MY KIDS WERE AT HOME. THEY WERE STILL ASLEEP. I BEGGED OFFICERS TO TAKE HIM AWAY. THIS WAS NOT MY FIRST BEATING...AND MY BABIES WERE MORE IMPORTANT.  I SAW THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE MY CHILDREN, AND MYSELF, FOR THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST...OR THE LAST BEATING.  THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND, MY DOOR WAS KICKED IN 3 NIGHTS IN A ROW. THE WEEK AFTER THAT, HE FOUND ME AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY, AND GAVE ME THE MOST BRUTAL BEATING YET. HE VIOLATED A PFA, AND NOTHING WAS DONE ABOUT IT. THERE WERE NO "EYEWITNESSES" TO THE BEATING. THE WEEK AFTER THAT MY WINDSHIELD WAS BUSTED OUT OF MY CAR.  I DECIDED THIS NEEDED TO END, AND I WENT INTO HIDING, AND STARTED TO RUN. HE WOULD FIND ME, AND BEG.  I WOULD STAND MY GRAND, HE WOULD ATTEMPT SUICIDE. THE LAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT HE SHOWED UP WHERE I LIVED, AND SWALLOWED AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF PILLS IN FRONT OF ME...I JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID "I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING ME TO CALL AN AMBULANCE, IM NOT GOING TO", THAT TIME HE ACTUALLY LEFT...I WENT BACK TO SLEEP....

WE DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN, PHONE CALLS HERE AND THERE CUT SHORT.  WE LET HIM SEE THE GIRLS ONCE OR TWICE, SUPERVISED ONLY...AND THEN THE CALLS AND CONTACT STOPPED. FOR 8 MONTHS, BECAUSE IN FRONT OF HIS MOTHER, HE SLAPPED MY 3 YR OLD BABY IN THE FACE AND CALLED HER WHITE TRASH WHILE DROPPING THEM OFF...IT ENDED THERE. MEMORIAL WEEKEND 2009.

OCTOBER 2, 2009

HE WAS FOUND IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR NON PAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT. HE WAS GIVEN A 6 MONTH SUSPENDED SENTENCE.  AFTER 2 YEARS OF NONPAYMENT, HE IS ALLOWED 3 MORE MONTHS TO ATTEMPT, OR GO TO JAIL JAN. 11, 2010. I HAVE STILL RECEIVED NO PAYMENTS.

OCTOBER 20, 2009

MY MOTHER DROPS MY KIDS OFF, FOR UNKNOWN REASONS WITH HIS PARENTS....THE MINUTE MY CHILDREN STEP FOOT INTO THEIR HOUSE...SRS IS CALLED.  THE ALLEGATIONS ARE CHILD ABUSE/NEGLECT, DUE TO A "KNOT" ON ONE'S FOREHEAD, AND THE OTHER'S "BLACK EYE".  SRS CONTACTS ME, AND I EXPLAIN...WE WERE AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE, WHO HAS 2 OLDER CHILDREN.  THEY WERE PLAYING ON BUNKBEDS AND HEADBUTTED EACH OTHER AT SOME POINT. THEY ARE KIDS...AFTER GETTING OFF THE PHONE WITH SRS, I RECEIVE A PHONE CALL FROM HIS PARENT'S "COME PICK THESE KIDS UP, I HAVE PLANS, AND THEY ARE TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE".  CONSIDERING THEY ARE MINE, AND WERE TAKEN THERE WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, SURE THAT'S FINE...

OR SO I THOUGHT...

THE CASEWORKER ON THE CASE DOING THE "INVESTIGATION", TELLS ME I AM "MINIMIZING" THE SITUATION. SHE BELIEVES MY HUSBAND IS ABUSING ME AND THE CHILDREN, AND I AM TOO AFRAID TO COME FORWARD. SHE HAS "SEVERAL STATEMENTS" FROM PEOPLE "CLOSE" TO US TO BACK THIS UP...FINALLY I TELL HER, I WILL NOT SPEAK TO HER ANYMORE WITHOUT PRESENCE OF AN ATTORNEY.  SHE CONTINUOUSLY MAKES ME TO BELIEVE MY OWN FAMILY IS OUT TO GET ME, EVEN MY OWN MOTHER. I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TRUST, SO I QUIT TALKING TO ANYONE INVOLVED IN THE CASE.  THIS WOMAN OFFERED A FEW FAMILY MEMBER'S MONEY, MONTHLY, TO TAKE MY CHILDREN. SHE OFFERED TO PAY FOR CHILDCARE, TO TAKE MY CHILDREN.  SHE STATED TO ME SHE "DID NOT BELIEVE, I OR MY EX SHOULD HAVE OUR CHILDREN."  THEN SHE DID THE MOST HORRIBLE THING POSSIBLE...SHE GAVE THE EX, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, MY EMPLOYER INFO, AND CONTACT NUMBERS BELONGING TO MY FAMILY.  HE HAD ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS INFORMATION TO BEGIN WITH. SRS PUT ME AND MY FAMILY, IN DIRECT DANGER, WITH A MAN WHO HAD ALREADY BEEN CHARGED AND CONVICTED, FOR BEATING ME. THE EXACT PEOPLE, WHO ARE SPECIFICALLY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING TO PROTECT MY CHILDREN...PUT MY CHILDREN AND MYSELF'S LIVES AT RISK...THEY GOT AWAY WITH IT...AND STILL ARE!

DECEMBER 2. 2009

A LETTER COMES IN THE MAIL FROM SRS. THE CASEWORKER ADVISES THAT SHE "EMPATHIZES" WITH MY SITUATION, AND HAD RECEIVED THE LETTER I WROTE HER.  WHILE I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MY OPINION, SHE HAS SEVERAL FACTS AND STATEMENTS BACKING UP WHAT SHE "BELIEVES" IS GOING ON. DESPITE HER FACTS AND EVIDENCE, SHE WILL BE CLOSING MY CASE SOON.  SHE ALSO ADVISES ME THAT IF THERE ARE ANY FURTHER REPORTS IN THE FUTURE, MY CHILDREN WILL BE AT RISK FOR REMOVAL FROM MY HOME....LATER ON THAT DAY....WHILE DOING LAUNDRY, I TELL THE KIDS TO STOP JUMPING ON THE BED...OF COURSE MY HANDS ARE FULL, AND THEY DO NOT LISTEN. NOT 2 MINUTES LATER, THEY ARE BOTH CRYING.  I GO INTO THE ROOM, MY 3 YEAR OLD STOPS CYRING, BUT MY 2 YEAR OLD SAY SHE IS HURT.  WHEN ASKING HER WHERE IT HURTS, SHE POINTS TO HER FOOT, HER LEG, HER HAND, AND HER ARM.  I FIGURE SHE IS JUST TIRED, AND TELL THEM TO LAY DOWN FOR NAP TIME.  WE HAVE ORIENTATION FOR SCHOOL, SO WE CALL A SITTER WHILE THEY ARE STILL ASLEEP, AND LEAVE.  THE SITTER CALLS MID-ORIENTATION STATING SHE THINKS MY 2 YEAR OLD'S ARM OR SHOULDER IS HURT.  WE COME HOME AND SURE ENOUGH, SHE SEEMS TO BE IN A LOT OF PAIN.  I CALL OUR FAMILY DOCTOR, AND HE IS WORKING ER AND SAYS TO BRING HER IN. AFTER BEING ASSESSED AND EVALUATED IT IS DETERMINED HER COLLAR BONE IS BROKEN, BUT IS A VERY COMMON FRACTURE....

DECEMBER 4, 2009

I RECEIVE YET ANOTHER CALL FROM THE CASEWORKER.  QUESTIONING ME ON THE INJURY MY DAUGHTER RECEIVED 2 DAYS BEFORE. I EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT HAPPENED, AND SHE ADVISES THE CASE WILL NO LONGER BE CLOSING DUE TO HER "NEW" INTAKE AND REPORT.  SHE TELLS ME SHE NEEDS TO "INTERVIEW" THE GIRLS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  I HANG UP. WHILE AT A FRIENDS HOUSE LATER ON THAT DAY, MY LANDLORD CALLS. HE IS VERY UPSET, AND ADVISES ME HE LET THE WPD IN TO SEARCH MY HOME, AND THEY ARE LOOKING FOR MY CHILDREN.  IN SHOCK, I CALL MY MOTHER TO WATCH THE CHILDREN SO I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON.  THE MINUTE WE GET TO THE HOUSE, THE WPD CALLS AND SAYS "NOBODY IS IN TROUBLE, WE JUST NEED YOU TO SIGN SOME PAPERWORK".  10 MINUTES LATER THEY SHOW UP WITH AN ORDER FOR PROTECTION. AT THIS POINT THEY NOTIFY ME, THEY HAVE ALREADY TAKEN MY CHILDREN INTO CUSTODY, AND RELEASE THEM TO THEIR FATHER.(THE ABUSER)  OVERCOME WITH EMOTIONS I AM SO HYSTERICAL I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK....THIS IS FRIDAY EVENING...THE COURT HOUSE IS CLOSED...THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO, AND MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ENDANGERED. NEXT YOU WILL READ AN ARTICLE WRITTEN BY A DEAR FRIEND IN REFERENCE TO ME.

Sedgwick County 18th Judicial Court

Judge Jeff Syrios

Judge Syrios gave custody and granted a protection order of two small children to a convicted domestic violence criminal and the children who are aged 2 & 3 years old, were picked up on friday, 12/4/09, by the Wichita police and transported to an unknown location and the mother still has no idea where her children are. The mother of the little children went to see Judge Syrios today, 12/7/09,  to explain the father's past and criminal conviction, father is suicidal, lives in a halfway house, and that these children are in danger, but Judge Syrios would not release the children back to the mother.

This father had other children from a previous relationship and his parental rights were severed in this same jurisdiction, here in Sedgwick County.

Mother had been investigated because one of the children had fallen and broke their coller bone. This was cleared by two medical physicians who noted that this was an accident. But now since father filed a protection order, the SRS is involved again which looks more like SRS is working for this convicted criminal.

DECEMBER 7, 2009

ME AND MY HUSBAND HEAD TO THE COURTHOUSE, TO SEE IF THERE IS ANYONE TO GET MY GIRLS BACK.  OUR FIRST STOP IS THE PFA OFFICE.(WE THOUGHT THEY COULD ASSIST IN PROTECTING US) NO LUCK. THEY BASICALLY SAY, SORRY HE HAS TO BEAT YOU AGAIN, AND THEN WE CAN PROTECT YOU.  THEY ARE ALSO MADE AWARE OF THE PFA FILED BY THE EX.  AGAIN, SORRY, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO, HE RAISED HIS HAND AND SWORE THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HE MUST HAVE BEEN TELLING THE TRUTH...BLAH BLAH BLAH.  NEXT STOP DISTRICT ATTORNEY NOLA FOULSTON'S OFFICE...AGAIN...NOTHING.  NEXT STOP, THE JUDGE'S CHAMBERS. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE JUDGE SPEAKS TO US. HE IS INFORMED OF THE ENTIRE SITUATION, BUT STATES ALL HE CAN DO IS MOVE THE HEARING DATE UP, AND WE CAN BE SEEN IN 3 DAYS....THIS IS BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN, SRS IS INVOLVED.  APPARENTLY HE CALLED THE CASEWORKER ASSIGNED TO THE CASE, AND LOW AND BEHOLD SHE TOLD HIM SHE "RECOMMENDED" THEY STAY WHERE THEY ARE AT.  WE WERE TOLD THEY ARE "FED, CLOTHED, CLEAN AND SAFE" AND "NOT TO WORRY, JUST SHOW UP FOR COURT"....

DECEMBER 10, 2009

PFA COURT.  AFTER ABOUT 4 HOURS OF SITTING AND WAITING, OUR CASE IS FINALLY HEARD BEFORE A JUDGE.  ON THE PLAINTIFF SIDE, ABUSE ALLEGATIONS ARE MADE, MEDICAL RECORDS ARE PRODUCED, AND TESTIMONY IS MADE BY HIM AND HIS MOTHER.  THEY DUG A PRETTY DEEP HOLE ON THEIR ON, AND CONTRADICTED THEMSELVES MANY TIMES.  THE ISSUE OF SRS GIVING THEM MY PERSONAL INFORMATION COMES UP, AND IS NOT CONTESTED BY EITHER.(INTERESTING HUH)  THE REAL KICKER...PART OF THEIR DEFENSE CONSISTS OF A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION FROM THE SRS CASEWORKER, INVESTIGATING OUR CASE....FAXED FROM THE SRS CASEWORKER TO THE FAMILY COURT TRUSTEE....MORE PRIVATE INFORMATION BEING PASSED AROUND.  NEEDLESS TO SAY AFTER 2 JUDGES HAVE REVIEWED THE EVIDENCE, EVERYTHING GETS DROPPED....AT LEAST UNTIL SRS DECIDES TO STEP IN, OR CUSTODY COURT ON DECEMBER 21ST.  THE JUDGE ALSO ORDER A CHILD CUSTODY INVESTIGATION TO TAKE PART BEFORE COURT ON THE 21ST...BUT I AM ALLOWED TO PICK UP MY CHILDREN DIRECTLY AFTER COURT....AND AT THIS POINT...DEC. 10TH...THEY ARE IN MY HOME. SAFE. LOVED. AND SECURE.  THE JUDGES AND FAMILY COURTS WILL STILL NOT PROVIDE ME WITH A PFA. UPON ARRIVING AT HOME, MY 3 YR OLD LOOKS ME IN THE EYES, AND SAYS "IF YOU ARE MEAN TO "TROY", HE IS GOING TO BEAT YOU REALLY BADLY."  I ASSUME THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT THROUGH HER, DUE TO THE NO CONTACT ORDER IN PLACE....I AM PUBLIC WITH MY STORY, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE.  I THINK SOMETHING DEFINITELY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED OR FIGURED OUT.  THESE ARE CHILDREN, NOT PAYCHECKS.  IT IS OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE A PARENT.  WE ARE NOT EVEN GIVEN A CHANCE TO DEFEND OURSELVES AGAINST THE ALLEGATIONS MADE.  ONCE A  REPORT IS RECEIVED, WE ARE GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.  OUR RIGHTS AS HUMANS ARE BEING VIOLATED. THIS HAS GOT TO END.  OUR STORIES NEED TO BE HEARD, AND NOT FILED AWAY.  THIS IS TRAUMATIZING OUR CHILDREN, AND THEY ARE NOT GIVING THEM A CHANCE.  THEY ARE DESTROYING OUR KIDS, AND EVERYONE BUT THE MOTHER'S AND/OR FATHER'S ARE THE ONLY ONE'S WORRYING ABOUT PROTECTING THEM.  MY CASEWORKER NEARLY SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT, BY GIVING OUT VITAL INFORMATION TO MY PERPETRATOR.  NOT ONLY THAT, BUT IS BASICALLY HOLDING HIS HAND THROUGH THE PROCESS.....IS THIS JUSTICE? IS THIS HOW THE SYSTEM IS SUPPOSED TO WORK?

tailored life coaching




05 June 2010

28 January 2010

The Mothers Not Found in the Media- (the author/mother was silenced) « A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice

I found the below on A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice

 

Looks like she’s still silenced. The page is gone and her blog is empty. (but we have the article) Hang in there Julie- they CAN’T Silence us all!

The Mothers Not Found in the Media

by JULIE LEVINE

Mrs. Tiger Woods, Mrs. Aaron Spelling, Ms. Britney Spears, even our first lady, Mrs. Obama ….all mothers that you can read about on an almost weekly basis. The media loves to cover them and to expose them. Whether they like it or not.

The media does not cover the women who have lost custody battles to perpetrators of domestic violence. Their abusers are almost never exposed. The children in these cases are damaged, their lives stained forever. Over and over again, these children are torn from the arms of a loving parent-their mothers.

When will you read of Debbie, Rachel, Susan, Maria, and hundreds of others who have lost their children in a court system that enables such injustice? Probably never. And the silence is breaking them.

In our judicial system of today, powerful men, dominating men, are able to use the court system as a weapon. Tragically, they are able to use their children as ammunition. The media doesn’t know the women that have fallen victims to our courts. We should read about the personal enfolding of celebrity moms, professional athletes’ spouses, and other characters that are deemed of high interest to the public. Or so they say. When do we read of the other mothers?

No one wants to report on the woman whose husband repeatedly raped his 5 year old daughter. That man was then given sole custody of the young girl, as the woman could not fight the court battle laid out before her. Who would want to read of the woman whose husband broke every bone in her face, over a period of years? He was then given custody of the children who witnessed this horror.

In another case, a forensic psychologist stated that he was of the professional opinion that two boys had observed their father being psychologically and physically abusive towards their mother. Documentation regarding physical abuse of the mother was evidenced. Then the judge deciding this particular custody dispute awarded sole custody of the two boys to the father.

When this woman sought safety prior to the divorce dispute, her husband warned her that she would never see her children again. After custody was "awarded" to this male perpetrator, the mother never had a relationship with her sons again. A judge looked her in the eye and told her that just because her husband had raped and beaten her, it did not mean he couldn’t be a good father.

Not understanding any of the court’s instructions, she contacted newspapers, radio stations, and magazines. In our wonderful United States of America, there was not a single reporter that would come to her aid. No one wanted to speak of her story, her life….It was her own, never to be shared.

Until now.

It happened to me.

In our country that promises protection and justice, judges are awarding custody to men with violent histories. Women that have made their children a priority, are left childless. Many times, these women turn to the media for assistance…only to be turned away.

These are the mothers not found in the media. Reporters refuse to reply to coverage requests, as judges are never held accountable for their poor and damaging decisions. If these cases are told to the public, how are they remedied? Perhaps this is why reporters run from such stories. Rather than ignore such tragedies, it seems that finding an answer would be a much better conclusion.

In order for there to be a solution to many of these horror stories, the stories themselves must be told. Bullied and emotionally battered by judicial figureheads, the mothers not mentioned in the media must be heard. They need a voice. We need a voice.

If you are reading these words, that proves there is hope. It says things can get a little bit better. This is all being told from a mother who lost her children in a court of law to the abuser; from a mother not found in the media.

Technorati Tags: Found,author,article,Hang,Julie,Silence,LEVINE,Tiger,Woods,Aaron,Britney,lady,Obama,basis,expose,Whether,custody,violence,children,cases,Over,parent,Debbie,Rachel,Susan,Maria,system,injustice,weapon,ammunition,victims,courts,characters,woman,husband,daughter,girl,period,horror,opinion,father,Documentation,male,perpetrator,relationship,newspapers,radio,America,reporter,life,protection,justice,judges,Women,Many,times,assistance,Reporters,coverage,requests,Rather,conclusion,solution,words,abuser,athletes,spouses,magazines,histories,decisions,tragedies

The Mothers Not Found in the Media- (the author/mother was silenced) « A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice

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30 December 2009

When your babies start having babies themselves, please help them to be parents

This kind of story really gets to me....I don’t know the young father involved, but at his age I doubt that he is a malicious person (yet).  This to me sounds more like a case of a child trying to raise a child and not having the right tools to get that job done safely! 

Adult parents...please, please, when your kids start having kids...TALK to them about what to do when they get frustrated with the baby, or with life in general.  I am sure there have been many parents that have felt frustrated over the years because of not enough money for Christmas or Birthday’s or whatever...caring parents WANT to get things for their kids that they may not have had growing up.

But, a mature parent doesn’t see causing pain to the crying baby as way to ease that frustration.  The baby is already crying...why do something that will cause even MORE crying?

Yes, I think this young father should be punished for what he did, make no mistake about that!  But, the mature adults in his life need to step up and help him as well.  Mature adults everywhere need to step up to the plate...regardless of how well you tried to keep your babies from having babies too early...they do it...move on.

Don’t kick them out of your lives, help them.  Continue to parent your kids so that they can parent theirs!

Teen charged, accused of burning baby in bath

By Cindy Swirko
Staff writer

Published: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 2:02 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 2:02 p.m.

Child abuse charges have been filed against a Gainesville teen-ager on accusations that he burned his 6-week-old baby in hot water.

The incident happened Dec. 24. The 17-year-old father and mother took the baby to Shands at the University of Florida with second-degree burns to the buttocks.

Police were called because of the nature of the injury.

"The investigation revealed that the father was frustrated that the baby was crying, and he boiled several bowls of water and placed them in the baby bath and put the baby into the hot water," Gainesville Police Lt. Mike Schibuola said. "He said he was frustrated and angry because he didn't have a job, he didn't have any money, and he had no presents for Christmas."

The baby's mother was not home when the incident happened and was not charged, Schibuola said. The father was charged with aggravated child abuse.

| Gainesville.com | The Gainesville Sun | Gainesville, FL




29 October 2009

Punishing abusers key to protecting women

 

Wendy Murphy: Punishing abusers key to protecting women

Wendy Murphy


By Wendy Murphy

GateHouse News Service

Posted Oct 27, 2009 @ 12:01 PM


It's October, which means it’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

But we don’t really need an “awareness month” anymore. There’s so much domestic violence, we’re in a chronic state of awareness. What we really need is a revolution.

 

 

First the facts:

- A woman is beaten every 15 seconds.

- Nearly two dozen victims of domestic violence are already dead this year alone in Massachusetts. Other states report similar numbers.

- As many as 10 million children a year are exposed to domestic violence, causing them to suffer emotional and psychological harm, not to mention that they grow up believing that smacking your spouse is part of a “normal” relationship. No surprise then that boys who watch their fathers beat their mothers are far more likely as adults to do the same thing to their female partners.

- According to the Justice Department, women suffer violent victimization more than 4 million times a year. Approximately one-third of the crimes are committed by intimate partners.

- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury for American women between the ages of 15 and 44.

- Among homeless women and children, half are homeless because of domestic violence.

- Medical expenses resulting from domestic violence amount to around $4 billion annually.

Now a few of the embarrassing reasons for so much suffering:

- Most cases of domestic violence are not reported to law enforcement because victims fear retaliation, are financially dependent on their abuser, or believe the justice system will not protect them and/or is useless to deter the violence.

- Of the cases that are reported and accepted for prosecution, only about half end in conviction while one-third are dismissed by the prosecutor. For the small percentage of cases that end in conviction, the punishment is usually trivial.

In sum, there are three main reasons why women are abused in such large numbers by men who claim to love them: Offenders aren’t being punished! Offenders aren’t being punished! Offenders aren’t being punished!

Some argue that punishment doesn’t stop domestic violence and that we need to do more “education and prevention” to change the way males are raised so they will learn to respect women more. These tend to be the people who get funding to do “education and prevention.” In other words, they’re paid to co-opt victims into believing that justice and punishment aren’t important even though some research shows that the only thing that stops violent men is incapacitation (read: jail).

Even if education and cultural retraining might help some day, while we’re waiting around for our species to evolve, we need to give all endangered women a .45 caliber equalizer and we need to ramp up the punishment of batterers so that beating a woman isn’t sentenced on par with spitting on the sidewalk.

Anti-incarceration advocates will tell you that prison isn’t fun – and that it often spawns a toxic mental software that makes men who enter come out worse than ever when their sentence wraps up.

But if fear of becoming a monster in prison, and respect for women isn’t enough to deter a man from beating his wife, he’s already toxic – and putting him behind bars will prevent him from infecting innocent others with his poison. Punishment isn’t the only way to stop violence, but it is a legitimate and effective feature of our legal system. Lots of research shows how states that send a higher percentage of criminals to prison have lower rates of crime, even after controlling for all of things like poverty and urbanization.

But incarceration is a dirty word in the lexicon of some liberals who claim that locking people up gives the government dangerous amounts of power and threatens the freedom of the individual.

They’re wrong.

The freedom of FEMALE individuals is actually greatly enhanced when criminals who target women for violence are incapacitated.

But our legal system doesn’t care. And despite decades of disastrous statistics, our political leaders don’t care, either. In fact, nobody in a position of leadership is even complaining about the lack of justice for victimized women.

Earlier this month, there was a big to-do in D.C. about women’s issues in the Obama administration. Lynn Rosenthal, whose responsibility it is to deal with violence against women on behalf of the president, gave a lovely talk about all sorts of things, but never once mentioned the profound failure of law to redress domestic violence or the desperate need for tougher punishments for batterers.

Obviously, the men who promised “change” and “hope” for a better society, and who haven’t shied away from talking about the need for tough punishments for corporate criminals, have little “hope” to offer women in danger. It's just more politicians in a long line of others who value stuff more than women’s lives.

Patriot Ledger contributor Wendy Murphy is a leading victims rights advocate and nationally recognized television legal analyst. She is an adjunct professor at New England Law in Boston. She can be reached at wmurphy@nesl.edu. Read more of her columns at The Daily Beast .

Wendy Murphy: Punishing abusers key to protecting women - Brockton, MA - The Enterprise



Poverty, domestic violence

Poverty, domestic violence: Women bearing brunt of economic crisis

Jess Moore

25 October 2009
A domestic violence shelter in Alice Springs told ABC radio’s AM on May 1 that between January 1 and mid-April this year, it provided accommodation for 157 children and 149 women. However, due to lack of funding, it turned away a further 158 women and 100 children seeking support.

In other words, for each woman it provided shelter to, one was turned away. Where did she go? In all likelihood, she ended up back with her abusive partner.
We live in a society that still, in many respects, treats women as second-class citizens. Women’s supposedly predominant role as bearers and carers of children, combined with inadequate childcare services and maternity leave provisions, mean women are discriminated against in employment. Women are highly concentrated in part-time and casual jobs.
This situation leaves women more vulnerable to economic hardship. When the chips are down, such as in the current global economic crisis, women are the first hit. Women are the first to lose their jobs. Financial independence, and the options that come with that — such as leaving an abusive partner — is still a dream for many women.
Women bear the brunt of trauma and hardship, such as war and economic recession. The global economic crisis has disproportionately affected women in terms of poverty and unemployment.
However, women are also experiencing an increase in violence within the home. A 2009 United Nations report also noted a rise in the number of women remaining in abusive relationships because of a lack of affordable alternative accommodation, an inability to sell property and decreased support services.
In Australia, ongoing funding cuts to women’s services mean national domestic violence statistics are sketchy. However, the available state and local figures are alarming.
In Queensland, in the first quarter of 2005, 6874 new cases of domestic violence were reported. In the first quarter of 2009, it rose to 9739 new cases — a 42% rise.
The January 29 Newcastle Herald said that between 2005 and 2008, the number of domestic Apprehended Violence Orders (AVOs) issued rose by more than 7%. However, in Queensland, the numbers did not peak until 2009, so the real rise in NSW could be significantly higher.
In poor and regional areas the situation is worse.
US figures tell a similar story. The National Domestic Violence Hotline had a spike of calls in September 2008, which were up 21% from September 2007. The organisation conducted a six-week study to determine the cause of the rise.
It found a strong link between financial stress and domestic violence: 54% of callers reported a change in their household's financial situation in the past year and 64% of callers answered “yes” to the question "do you believe the abusive behaviour has increased in the past year?"
A 2004 study by the National Institute of Justice found that women whose male partners experienced two or more periods of unemployment over five years were three times more likely to be abused.
Frighteningly, the violence is also becoming more deadly. The December 25 Boston Globe reported: “Economic stresses often lead to more frequent abuse, more violent abuse, and more dangerous abuse when domestic violence already exists.”
A series of reports in the Sydney Morning Herald in November 2008 revealed that, in NSW, the number of deaths of women and children as a result of domestic violence had risen to a 10-year high.
In Australia, domestic violence is now the most likely cause of preventable death for women under 45. It is also the leading cause of preventable disabilities and illnesses for women under 45.
Higher assault rates are made worse by inadequate support services. Government funding for women's services is considerably less than it was a decade ago, despite the marked rise in demand.
This situation is the result of neoliberal funding cuts and a conservative anti-feminist ideological campaign. Consecutive governments have blamed domestic violence on individual family breakdowns and unhealthy relationships, rather than recognising the social basis of violence against women.
The swell in the number of domestic violence cases is not a setback in an otherwise generally improving situation. Before the economic crisis, domestic violence in Australia was already a growing social problem.
Rates dramatically rose across NSW between 1997 and 2002. Figures released by the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research show that, for this period, the recorded instance of domestic assault rose by 40% in the Sydney area and 50% across the rest of NSW.
A huge injection of public funding is needed to support essential crisis services for victims of domestic violence to prevent the needless death of so many women and children.
Beyond that, the underlying causes of domestic violence — unemployment, insecurity, poverty, disadvantage and women’s financial dependence on male partners — have to be addressed.
Collective opposition to attacks on women’s rights is the only force powerful enough to empower women, to change sexist social attitudes and stop all forms of violence against women.

From: Comment & Analysis, Green Left Weekly issue #815 28 October 2009.

http://www.greenleft.org.au/2009/815/41932