August 28, 2009
“If I Killed You, I’d Get The Kids”: Women’s Survival, Child Custody, and Abuse
Filed under: Child Custody, Child Custody Battle, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Family Court Reform, Family Courts, Family Rights, Human Rights, Husbands who murder wives, Intimate Partner Assault, Murdered Mothers, Parental Alienation Syndrome, parental alienation — justice4mothers @ 11:16 am
Here is an important paper by Colleen Varcoe and Lori G. Irwin titled “If I Killed You, I’d Get the Kids”: Women’s Survival and Protection Work with Child Custody and Access in the Context of Woman Abuse.” I am constantly amazed by men’s rights advocates, father’s rights folks and shared parenting people that “claims” of abuse by women in a relationship are generally false when so there so many women and children dying. They want to make it a “women’s” or “feminist” issue, when it is really a human rights issue. They try and draw the attention away from all the abusive fathers getting custody of children from moms with claims of so-called “parental alienation syndrome” and claim that it is the “radical” women’s groups that are debunking it. I find that interesting and their credibility lacking if they call the American Judge’s Association, the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the National District Attorney’s Association “radical women’s groups.” They have all discredited claims of “parental alienation” and “parental alienation syndrome.”
Here is an except of Varcoe’s and Irwins’s paper:
Child custody and access was the central concern for women with children who participated in Project Violence Free (PVF), a three-year study of formal systems’ (criminal justice, social assistance, and health care) responses to abuse by intimate partners. Although we proposed to study women’s experience with these specific “systems,” the women saw their experiences as similar across services, and talked about “the system” as a monolithic entity. The overarching theme identified through analysis of interview and documentary evidence from the women was that women struggle continuously to limit the violence in their lives and to “make the system work.” We identified four critical sites in which women did most of this work.
For all the women, economic survival was a central part of their struggle. For most women, seeking protection, particularly, but not exclusively, from the justice system, was part of their experience. For women new to Canada, working with issues of immigration overshadowed their other efforts. For the women with children, issues of child custody and access dominated and shaped their experiences.
This article focuses on child custody and access as one of the sites of women’s work in dealing with intimate partner violence. It is based on interview data from the women who were mothers and focus group data from service providers who work with such women as background. The interviews revealed a pervasive tension between obligations to maintain contact between children and their fathers, and obligations to protect children from harm. The purpose of this article is to describe how women work to negotiate formal systems in relation to child custody and access in the context of woman abuse, and how aspects of such systems are problematic. Our argument is that child custody and access processes provide opportunities for abusive partners to exert power and control over their partners and children, and that these opportunities are often supported by policies and practices of service providers.
To read the rest of “If I Killed You, I’d Get the Kids”: Women’s Survival and Protection Work with Child Custody and Access in the Context of Woman Abuse” by Colleen Varcoe and Lori G. Irwin, please click here.
16 January 2010
“If I Killed You, I’d Get The Kids”: Women’s Survival, Child Custody, and Abuse « RightsForMothers.com
23 October 2009
Child Abuse...
There have been three recent cases where child abuse has either been accused, or parents have been convicted; that just really gets to me when there are many kids that are really being abused. We, as a society, focus on the petty and let the horrendous continue.
Wrote a blog post about it. Like to read it? Here it go....
First we have the couple that used soap to wash out their daughters mouth, she then had an allergic reaction, so they took her to the hospital. Ok, so I admit, if the account that I read of that incident was correct, leaving the soap in her mouth ten minutes for a bad word was overboard. I got my mouth washed out with soap as a child, and I threw up from it as well, and was made to clean up my own mess...
But, I have a hard time meshing the fact that they were charged with child abuse and parents who are doing horrendous things, like raping their own children, are not even being charged.
Then we have the family that pulled the publicity stunt of faking that their 6 yr old had accidently flown off in the hot air balloon. Ok, now they apparently are risk takers and media whores, so it is not surprising that people are not concerned about the well being of their children. Apparently they take them on storm chases and dangerous outings, ok that I get!
What I don’t get is that their lawyer, David Lane, stated;
"Do not do the perp walk for media consumption and arrest these people in full view of their children. That's child abuse. That's traumatic for kids."
Ok, I get that having the parents arrested in front of the kids is traumatic, but did he have to go as far as to say it is child abuse?
Again, I have a hard time meshing the fact that having parents arrested in front of their kids, in any situation, could be considered child abuse; when we have parents abusing their kids to death...literally.
I read today that ‘Nearly half of all Texas kids killed by abuse were in families with CPS histories’. Yes, I do realize that is only one state; but with all the child deaths in the news all over the country, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more states with a percentage in the same range.
Which leads me to the final case that has gotten alot of media attention, while those of children being horribly abused are still suffering. Apparently the social service workers in Italy had nothing more pressing to do, because they charged a mom with child abuse for being overly protective. Well, they charge the grandparents as well.
This mom didn’t beat her son, or put cigarette’s out on his body, or scald him with water. She didn’t let grown men come to her house to rape her son. So, what did she do? She cut his school snacks into bite sized pieces. He is 12 years old, so that is going a bit too far, in my opinion. But, is that really child abuse? Why were they even investigating her one would wonder.
According to the article:
The parents divorced soon after the boy's birth and the father claimed that he wasn't permitted to see his son for nine years. Concerned about the child's welfare, he finally contacted social services and prosecutors opened an investigation into the mother and grandparents.
Ah ha! So, there we have it, his father was concerned. Ok, I buy that. But, didn’t the social service workers have more pressing cases? Maybe not, I don’t live in that country so I can’t speak with any first hand knowledge of what their child abuse rates are.
What is getting me with this is the media circus surrounding these three cases, when we have so many horrific cases going on that are not being reported. In WI there is a current case of a daughter not wanting to visit her father, presumably because he is abusive and neglectful of her basics needs; such as a bed at his house.
She has also disclosed sexual abuse, and was with her father when he was arrested for a DUI (which he went to jail for the DUI). But he isn’t in jail or being charged with child abuse like the parents in the stories above.
Where’s her media circus? Better yet, where is her JUSTICE? She can do without the circus.
Oh, and there is another case that I have mentioned here before. The daughter was taken from her mother and custody was granted to her father; this child isn’t even allowed to visit her mom. That mothers name is Kristin Hanson, I will not publish the child’s name. Why did this mom loose custody?
When her daughter was 8 years old she (the daughter) disclosed that she was being sexually abused. Her daughter refused to go visit her dad because of this (understandably so), her mother felt she could do nothing else to protect her besides run with her. She was caught.
That girl, now 14, is still after six years living with her father.
Again, I can not mesh these stories to the ones above. After having spent several days fuming over all of this, I think I have figured out a portion of why CPS fails to do their job in some of the worst cases, yet in others tend to over-charge parents for doing lesser offenses.
Could it be that CPS workers are afraid of the REAL child abusers?
24 September 2009
Mom who fled Iowa for safety ordered back
Please just read this! Stories like this are being printed all across America and no one seems to realize that women who try to protect themselves only end up getting abused again by the Family Court system. When are people in this country going to wake up? Battered women and children are dying all over this country and yet, judges see nothing wrong with what they are doing when they force a woman and her kids back into an area where they are probably going to be killed.
Battered women do not flee the area for shits and grins! No one likes moving. So, why in the hell would someone do so without a good reason? I can answer that one...THEY WOULDN’T! No mother is going to drag her kids all over the place and keep them in totally upheaval for anything less than to save their lives! Even the most well planned out moves that ordinary people make for good reasons are stressful and no one really likes it. If a mother didn’t care about her children she would just stay in the area and not go through it all!
A Decatur County woman who said she fled the state fearing for her life and that of her 7-year-old son is being required to return or risk being arrested.
Ringgold County Attorney Clint Spurrier has thus far rejected pleas from advocates of domestic-violence victims to drop a criminal complaint against Hannah Newberry for violating the visitation arrangement from her divorce in June. If Newberry returns to Iowa for a family court hearing today, she could be arrested - and possibly lose custody of her son, she said."This to me is blackmail," said Newberry, who was awarded sole physical custody of the couple's son. "I left to protect myself. They're trying to make me a criminal even though I'm not the one who has done anything wrong."
Newberry, 47, originally of Lamoni, said she fled to Ohio on June 12 because of escalating harassment by her former husband, Timothy Newberry.
Iowa's Department of Human Services has confirmed several cases of abusive behavior by Timothy Newberry. Two alleged violations of protection orders brought by Hannah Newberry were dropped this summer because she would not return to Iowa to testify against her ex-husband.Timothy Newberry could not be reached for comment.
Spurrier said he was appointed to the case only recently because Decatur's county attorney had a conflict. Spurrier also said that until Hannah Newberry appears in court, where she will be represented by an attorney, there is little he can do. A charge is already on file, and a warrant for her arrest was issued.
"When she returns, it would be my anticipation that she turns herself in so arrangements can be made for her release," Spurrier said.He added that he is restricted in what he can say to a defendant without an attorney present. "I don't think there's any intention to hold her in jail," he said.
A national organization called Stop Family Violence has made appeals to Iowa's attorney general, Gov. Chet Culver and Chief Justice Arthur Gamble to intervene in the case. The organization's members also pleaded to Spurrier in letters, saying Hannah Newberry is in a no-win situation: If she returns, she can be arrested and puts herself or her son at risk. If she is jailed, Timothy Newberry can petition the court to regain custody of their son.Timothy Newberry "has a long, documented history of severe domestic and child abuse spanning 30 years and two additional wives," the group wrote Culver on Sept. 4.
Miller and Culver did not respond; Gamble wrote back saying he could not intervene under state law, the organization said.
Stop Family Violence said all three of Timothy Newberry's previous wives obtained orders of protection from him. A child-abuse report written four years ago said Newberry's violent temper "appears to be becoming progressively worse." The social worker said she feared for the safety of his children and recommended that Newberry, 51, have only supervised visits with his children.A copy of an Iowa Department of Human Services child-abuse assessment obtained by The Des Moines Register shows Timothy Newberry was found responsible for child abuse for trying to choke his wife while she was holding their 3-year-old son in March 2005. He had three similar confirmed, or founded, child-abuse reports, in November 1990, in 1998 and in 2004.
According to a social worker's report, the 2005 incident was spurred when Hannah Newberry tried to leave the home because her husband was in such a foul mood. He began to choke her, blocked the door and smiled as she struggled, saying " 'Oh, good - struggle. Go ahead. I bet you want to call 911, don't you?' " according to the DHS report.
Eventually Hannah Newberry managed to escape, and the police arrived.
Mom who fled Iowa, ex-spouse risks jail on return | DesMoinesRegister.com | The Des Moines Register
23 September 2009
Take a look at the figures; 90% of families being killed by dear dad
Over 90% of Familicides are Fathers Killing Their Families
from RightsForMothers.com by justice4mothers
Can’t say that I agree the with this explantion of motivating factor for familicide. But the fact that 196 of 211 familicides were committed by men (92.89%) shows that murder of family members are being committed by MALES more than 90% of the time. True to the Violence Policy Center’s prior studies.
Expert: Rate Of Familicides Rising
Peter Busch
Reporter, KPHO.comFLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — A criminal justice professor said familicide, a crime in which a parent kills his or her family, is on the rise.”We’ve noticed over the past year a marked increase in familicides nationally,” said Neil Websdale, a professor at Northern Arizona University.Websdale believes the recession is one of the reasons behind the spike.”I think what’s happening is perpetrators are killing because they somehow perceive that they have failed as providers, lovers, fathers, and in a small number of cases, wives and mothers,” he said.
Websdale just wrote the book Familicidal Hearts, which will be released in January. In the book, he looked at 211 cases of familicide. In 196 of those cases, the father was the killer.Websdale said the recent murder-suicide in Mesa where a mother apparently killed her two teenage sons before killing herself is the exception to the rule.”Without knowing all the facts, it’s tough to say what was behind it — but it definitely looks like a rare case,” he said.
Another Anony- Anonymiss- We are Every Where
Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Welcome to Anonymiss
Posted September 23, 2009
Hi All, and Welcome to Anonymiss!
Anonymiss is a collective of individuals who value the lives of women and children. Our intended goal is to provide resources and information to help women and children to lead lives free from all types of abuse. We respect that men may also encounter some of the issues contained on our site and welcome them to share in the information that is provided; however we are not geared towards males.
Links provided here do not mean that Anonymiss is affiliated in any way with those organizations. We are providing links to sources that may or may not be able to help you, and we will not be held responsible for information that you gain from or share with these sources.
If you have content suggestions, questions, comments, etc. Please use our Contact Form to ensure that we see your correspondence. We make every effort to respond to each message, please be patient with us, we will get back to you. You can also use the contact form if you would like more information about Anonymiss in general or if you would like to volunteer to help with the site and/or blog.
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Thank you for stopping by, please share our link with others that may find something useful here.
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Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Filed under: Child Custody Issues Battered Women
Why Are They Dead?
The Family Courts around the world are sentencing our children to death, by enforcing visitations and custody with abusive parents. This site not only provides research about this ever growing problem but is also a tribute to those that have bee killed at the hands of their abuser because of court orders.
Below is an excerpt from Family Court Murders
The Untied Nations definition of Genocide set out in the Convention on Genocide is:
Article 2
In the present Convention, genocide means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
(a) Killing members of the group; (b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; (c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; (d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; (e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group. In the news, it is common to see these murders blamed on the economy or the stress associated with divorce.
Unless you are a keen researcher, you are not privy to knowing what academics and even the UN knew for years
A silent but deadly genocide against women and children where authorities have had many opportunities to eliminate the root cause, but chose not to.
In every case these deaths are a result of child custody disputes where the court knows of a violent history, but decides to gamble with their lives for the sake of "fathers rights".
25 April 2009
Who Am I?
I have only had this blog up for a day or two almost and already I have someone demanding to know who I am. As if I must answer to this person. What difference does it make who I am, just know that I AM!
I am that one small butterfly whose wings flapping here will cause the tornado on the other side of the world (better known as the Butterfly Effect)....Chaos Theory
I am that one lone wolf whose howl here will cause the brush fire three state away...Chaos Theory
I am that small child whose cries go unnoticed by our family court that will cause the reform that is needed when I get older...Chaos Theory
I am that mother whose voice is no longer silenced and with that voice I will expose the corruption in our family courts...Chaos Theory
I could be YOUR mother (I do have kids after all), YOUR sister (if you have one), YOUR wife even. I could be the lady that waits on you at lunch time, or your cashier at the grocery store. I could be your church secretary or your coven high priestess. I could be the woman who cleans your house or does your dry cleaning. I could be your daughter that you abused all those years, come back to haunt you in your nightmares.
One by one exposing those that have put children in harms way and uplifting those that have survived the domestic terror that we call the justice system. This is not unique to one country; no, this is a world wide purification of a system.
It should be illegal to force children to be subjected to torturous and ineffective evaluations and therapies. But it is not. Actually it is encouraged as long as someone is getting paid! Silly me, I thought human trafficking and prostitution were actually illegal; and so they are as long as they are called anything else and worded as to be “in the best interest of the child”.
You may never figure out who I am, and what does it matter. I am a voice, only one voice, but this one voice can roar with the injustices done and cause that storm in another country! The storm is brewing on the horizon, you had better prepare, I would hate to see you lifted into its clutches and dropped into unsafe territory.
DMX said it right:
X is comin’ for ya, can’t do nuthin’ for ya
Cause X is comin’ for ya
Run, hide, duck, duck
Cause we don’t give fuck, fuck
Look around at all the women you see...can you guess which one I am? I am none of them and I am all of them....but which one am I?
