YOU’LL BE IN MY HEART…ALWAYS from MamaLiberty

YOU’LL BE IN MY HEART…ALWAYS « MamaLiberty’s Weblog

Mom who fled Iowa for safety ordered back

Please just read this!  Stories like this are being printed all across America and no one seems to realize that women who try to protect themselves only end up getting abused again by the Family Court system.  When are people in this country going to wake up?  Battered women and children are dying all over this country and yet, judges see nothing wrong with what they are doing when they force a woman and her kids back into an area where they are probably going to be killed.

Battered women do not flee the area for shits and grins!  No one likes moving. So, why in the hell would someone do so without a good reason?  I can answer that one...THEY WOULDN’T!  No mother is going to drag her kids all over the place and keep them in totally upheaval for anything less than to save their lives!  Even the most well planned out moves that ordinary people make for good reasons are stressful and no one really likes it.  If a mother didn’t care about her children she would just stay in the area and not go through it all!

 

A Decatur County woman who said she fled the state fearing for her life and that of her 7-year-old son is being required to return or risk being arrested.
Ringgold County Attorney Clint Spurrier has thus far rejected pleas from advocates of domestic-violence victims to drop a criminal complaint against Hannah Newberry for violating the visitation arrangement from her divorce in June. If Newberry returns to Iowa for a family court hearing today, she could be arrested - and possibly lose custody of her son, she said.

"This to me is blackmail," said Newberry, who was awarded sole physical custody of the couple's son. "I left to protect myself. They're trying to make me a criminal even though I'm not the one who has done anything wrong."
Newberry, 47, originally of Lamoni, said she fled to Ohio on June 12 because of escalating harassment by her former husband, Timothy Newberry.
Iowa's Department of Human Services has confirmed several cases of abusive behavior by Timothy Newberry. Two alleged violations of protection orders brought by Hannah Newberry were dropped this summer because she would not return to Iowa to testify against her ex-husband.

Timothy Newberry could not be reached for comment.
Spurrier said he was appointed to the case only recently because Decatur's county attorney had a conflict. Spurrier also said that until Hannah Newberry appears in court, where she will be represented by an attorney, there is little he can do. A charge is already on file, and a warrant for her arrest was issued.
"When she returns, it would be my anticipation that she turns herself in so arrangements can be made for her release," Spurrier said.

He added that he is restricted in what he can say to a defendant without an attorney present. "I don't think there's any intention to hold her in jail," he said.
A national organization called Stop Family Violence has made appeals to Iowa's attorney general, Gov. Chet Culver and Chief Justice Arthur Gamble to intervene in the case. The organization's members also pleaded to Spurrier in letters, saying Hannah Newberry is in a no-win situation: If she returns, she can be arrested and puts herself or her son at risk. If she is jailed, Timothy Newberry can petition the court to regain custody of their son.

Timothy Newberry "has a long, documented history of severe domestic and child abuse spanning 30 years and two additional wives," the group wrote Culver on Sept. 4.
Miller and Culver did not respond; Gamble wrote back saying he could not intervene under state law, the organization said.
Stop Family Violence said all three of Timothy Newberry's previous wives obtained orders of protection from him. A child-abuse report written four years ago said Newberry's violent temper "appears to be becoming progressively worse." The social worker said she feared for the safety of his children and recommended that Newberry, 51, have only supervised visits with his children.

A copy of an Iowa Department of Human Services child-abuse assessment obtained by The Des Moines Register shows Timothy Newberry was found responsible for child abuse for trying to choke his wife while she was holding their 3-year-old son in March 2005. He had three similar confirmed, or founded, child-abuse reports, in November 1990, in 1998 and in 2004.

According to a social worker's report, the 2005 incident was spurred when Hannah Newberry tried to leave the home because her husband was in such a foul mood. He began to choke her, blocked the door and smiled as she struggled, saying " 'Oh, good - struggle. Go ahead. I bet you want to call 911, don't you?' " according to the DHS report.
Eventually Hannah Newberry managed to escape, and the police arrived.

Mom who fled Iowa, ex-spouse risks jail on return | DesMoinesRegister.com | The Des Moines Register

Another Anony- Anonymiss- We are Every Where

Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Welcome to Anonymiss

Posted September 23, 2009

Hi All, and Welcome to Anonymiss!

Anonymiss is a collective of individuals who value the lives of women and children.  Our intended goal is to provide resources and information to help women and children to lead lives free from all types of abuse.   We respect that men may also encounter some of the issues contained on our site and welcome them to share in the information that is provided; however we are not geared towards males.

Links provided here do not mean that Anonymiss is affiliated in any way with those organizations.   We are providing links to sources that may or may not be able to help you, and we will not be held responsible for information that you gain from or share with these sources.

If you have content suggestions, questions, comments, etc.  Please use our Contact Form to ensure that we see your correspondence.  We make every effort to respond to each message, please be patient with us, we will get back to you.  You can also use the contact form if you would like more information about Anonymiss in general or if you would like to volunteer to help with the site and/or blog.

We welcome any and all feedback that you provide either through the contact form or through comments on the blogs.

Thank you for stopping by, please share our link with others that may find something useful here.

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Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Filed under: Child Custody Issues Battered Women

Biologically, mothers and babies belong together

Original: http://mommyerin.blogspot.com/2009/08/why-do-i.html

 

Why do I...

...keep my babies with me all the time? As in, why don't I leave them with babysitters, or drop them off at daycare or at least a mother's morning out, take trips without them, or even leave them with my husband when I want to go out shopping for a few hours?

The short answer: I'd miss them too much. That and the whole feeding issue.

The long answer:

Biologically, mothers and babies belong together, as one unit. The mother remains the primary habitat for the baby beyond the months of pregnancy. Her body continues to completely nourish the baby for at least the first six months, and then should continue to be the main source of nutrition for at least the next ix months. The baby forms its primary attachment to the mother by being in close constant contact with her.

One of La Leche League's ten belief statements is as follows: "In the early years, the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food." So it is not just about nutrition. Nutrition may be what helps begin the bonding of mother and baby: baby must eat frequently, and mother keeps him close. they experience skin-to-skin contact through nursing, and they begin to form a bond. The baby is learning about love and life from his mother - who he thinks he is actually a part of - through the physical closeness. He is learning to trust, and that consistent person being there all the time for him brings him security. This is what "attachment" is all about.

A baby first becomes attached to his mother, and she to him, in these early months. But the LLL statement above said the early years. This means that baby is not suddenly ready to spend a lot less time with his mother once he hits the end of his first year. The statement is vague on the exact number of years since that will vary from child to child. Independence from the mother is not something that can be forced on a child - it is a gradual process.

Personally, it seems to me that a child any less than about 18-24 months old is not going to understand about long separations from his mother. Some mothers have to work eight hours a day - yes, this is a reality for some. But it is not ideal, in my opinion. As unpopular as it may be for me to say this, I think babies and young children should be at home with their mothers. This is the person they were designed to be with for the vast majority of the time in their early years, and it has been shown to be optimal for their well-being.

Some people say that a mother who will not release her baby or toddler into the care of others is being "overprotective." They try to make it about the mother's needs more than the child's needs. So many mothers are brushed off, saying, "Oh, he doesn't need you - it sounds like you're the one who is needy!" True, a mother does feel a need to be with her nursing baby, because of the need to feed him, and also because of the bond that is there. But most mothers - myself included - are genuinely concerned for their baby's well-being in wanting to keep him close. This is not to say that other people are incompetent and can't care for a baby properly (like great Aunt Ethel who's been after you to keep the baby for a couple days while you go out of town)... just that the mother believes that it is in the baby's best interest to remain with his mother.

This reaction is somewhat understandable in our culture. We are basically taught through our experiences that toddlers, even infants, who cry for their mothers are spoiled and trying to manipulate them. That mothers are replaceable by any child care provider, at any age, and for any length of time. That toddlers who don't fall asleep alone are going to have horrible sleep problems in the future. So, I don't fault people who say, "You need to get a break from that baby!" They usually don't mean any harm - it is just ingrained in our culture, the same way any old lady who sees you with your baby in a store will ask you, "Is he a good baby?"

Babies lack object permanence. When a baby's mother leaves, he does not understand that she will be back. His brain isn't developed to the point of knowing that once she is out of sight, she still exists. It as if she has ceased to exist. The longer the separation, the harder it is on the baby. The baby can even begin to mourn for his mother as if she were dead (I wish I remember where I had read that so I could quote it directly). Even as babies gain object permanence - realizing that things still exist even when not in sight - they still think they are a part of the mother. They don't begin to really view them....MORE

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