It’s All About the Power and Control, I Mean the Kids - Part Three

“If you want to change the culture, you will have to start by changing the organization.” ~ Mary Douglas (1921-2007)

Monday and Tuesday I gave you my opinion about the Father’s rights Movement, that I think it may have started out as some good fathers and men attempting to make their children’s lives better.  I said that I believe abusers have taken that over and ultimately made children’s lives worse through the Family Court System.

After all, it is abusers that want to maintain power and control of their victims and could care less about what is really best for their kid’s.  They will twist everything so that it appears to those they are manipulating that the victim is the one in the wrong or that the victim is the abuser.

Today, I felt it was only fair to discuss the various avenues that a truly good father can take to protect him and his children.  I’ve already stated that I don’t believe that just being a parent (whether mom or dad) makes a person a good parent.  There are men out there that are abused by women and there are kids out there that are abused by moms.

Most of the time men that abused will not seek help; mainly for the same reasons a woman won’t, but with the added social embarrassments that women don’t have.  What will their friends and family think about them ‘letting’ a woman abuse?  Men are most often not believed either; by friends, family, and professionals.

The reason for these two additional factors is because the way society as a whole thinks about gender.  A man doesn’t ‘let’ himself be abused anymore than a woman ‘lets’ herself be abused.  No abuse victim wants to be abused, in any way, regardless of what type of abuse it is.  An abuser can gain power and control of their victim in many different ways and the victim rarely sees this happening until it is too late.

When a man finds himself the victim of domestic violence or abuse and seek help they often find no services geared specifically for men.  The main reason for this is that most men (not all) are not abused to the point that they can no longer provide for themselves or that their lives are in physical danger.  The shelters that are set up to help women can’t house abused men in with abused women for many reasons, mainly because many abusers attempt to play themselves off as victims to gain entrance into a shelter to find their victims... horrifying!  But also because most shelters are not set up for co-habitation between males and females.

Organizations and shelters can however still help men that need that help.  The can help them by providing emergency assistance with vouchers for hotel for a couple nights for their safety, this is one of the things a man would have to know to ask for though... even most women don’t know to ask for a voucher when told the shelter is full.

Men can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for Men and Women at 1.888.743.5754 to ask for advice and help in their particular situation.  Online a man can go any of these sites (which I found here):

• Start with our list of Programs Closest to You
• Battered Husbands Support
• Battered Men.com
• Battered Men: Research Reveals A Secret Side To Domestic Violence (Originally published in The Pacific Sun, overview of research and stats related to female perpetrators)
• Domestic Violence Against Men (From Oregon Counseling)
• Domestic Violence Against Men in Colorado
• Domestic Violence - Another Perspective from MenStuff.org
• Male Depression.com
• S.A.F.E.: Stop Abuse for EVERYONE

I would suggest that any man who is a victim of domestic violence visit An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection:  http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/malevictims.shtml  There are a lot of good resources there that can help a man and their children.

There are good fathers out there, I just want them to be able to help themselves and their children without getting sucked into the FR Movement.  After all abusers can manipulate anyone, that is what makes them good at lying in court and getting their way, rather than the best interest of their child being protected by the court.

It’s All About the Power and Control, I Mean the Kids - Part Two

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” ~ Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)

Ok, so with that thought in mind I move on to part two of this topic, and oh yes there will be a part three... just don’t you worry. 

As I was saying in part one, the people who make up the Father’s Rights Movement may not have started out where they have ended up.  They originally may have been honestly good fathers and what they have morphed into is the result of many abusers jumping onboard and running away with the movement.

Along these lines the men in the FR Movement have touted and tried to throw in the face of all women (feminists, non-feminists, mothers and every one really) a quote from Gloria Steinem... attempting to ‘prove’ that even SHE sees their side of it, that fathers need to be equal in parenting...  FR’s go on with that thought regardless of whether or not the father is abusive.

The quote I’m referring to is:  “Women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

As far as I can find Gloria Steinem actually said this sentence twice, once in an interview published in the NY Daily News and once in an article she wrote which was published in the Opinion Section of the LA Times.  The LA Times article is no longer available but I found the article copied here, so that I can still reference it.

In both cases the FR Movement refuses to take the quote in the context of what she was actually saying.  Taking shit out of context is one of my biggest pet peeves and in this case shows how totally twisted they have actually gotten it.

In the interview, which was for the occasion of her 75th birthday, she was speaking in a general sense of women’s equality.  What she actually said was: 

“We’ve demonstrated that women can do what men do, but not yet that men can do what women do. That’s why most women have two jobs — one inside the home and one outside it — which is impossible. The truth is that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

In the article she wrote for the LA Times she was speaking about Sarah Palin running for VP.  What she actually said was: 

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can't appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, who suffer more because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

She wasn’t saying that men should be equal in the home, thus supporting fathers being caregivers to young children then turning around and abusing them because they are not equipped to handle it.  What she is saying is that women have TWO jobs, which are impossible to juggle from a man’s point of view... but that women do it everyday.

Yes, she does state that Obama and Biden were campaigning on their belief that men should, can and want to be home for their kids.  She did NOT say she supports that... she specifically used the words “their belief”. 

So, Father’s Rights Activists.... I ask you this, where exactly does Gloria Steinem say you should be allowed to stay home and not work while your children’s mom does and pays you child support to abuse your kids?  I must have missed that.

I still stick to my opinion that most of those in the FR Movement are abusers trying to cram their ideological patriarchal power and control down everyone else’s throats.

It’s All About the Power and Control, I Mean the Kids

Everyday we all hear about or read about divorcing couples fighting over who gets the kids.  Fighting over their own children like they are some sort of property to be traded back and forth.  There are many people that believe ALL mothers should always have custody with very little to no visitation for fathers; and likewise there are those out there that believe the opposite, ALL fathers should get custody and mothers should get little to no visitation.

Personally I don’t see how so many people can see this issue in such black and white terms.  Not ALL mothers are good parents and not ALL fathers are good parents.  For the most part the daily news will show us that most child abuse and child murders are committed by fathers, and yes, occasionally by mothers.  This still doesn’t prove that ALL fathers are bad or good or that ALL mothers are bad or good.

In the last few years I have learned more about the Father’s Rights Movement, and I can say that I’m more than a little shocked at what I’ve learned.  The Father’s Rights Advocates would have everyone believe that they are just concerned for fathers as a whole having shared or joint custody.  They would have us believe that their number one concern is actually the children in divorces and custody cases.  On the surface if one doesn’t dig too much that sounds wonderful.

However, when looked at further it is easily seen what the real agenda is for the Father’s Rights Movement.  The further abuse and victimization of their ex-wives and children.  Before I go any further here, I’d like to point out that I fully believe that good fathers have

sought out the assistance of the Father’s Rights Movement and one of two things happens... they either leave, frustrated and still alone in their plight OR they become enmeshed in the bitterness which abounds.

What I see out of Father’s Rights Advocates around the internet appears to be mostly just a bunch of men (and a few women that will do anything to get the attention or have a little power for themselves) who have been abusive in one way or another to the mother of their children and now feel that comfy rug of power and control being ripped from under their feet. 

What better way to continue to abuse and control your victim when they walk away than to take possession of their children?

One main reason that I’ve formed the opinion that I have of the Father’s Rights Movement is because only abusers would look at the news we see of fathers murdering and abusing their kids and deny that it happens, or make excuses for it happening.  The strict adherence to the ‘ALL fathers should have custody’ line that they feed everyone is the basis of my opinion that the majority of those in the movement are abusers grasping at keeping the power and control they had.

Here is an example, mind you... this is only one search, but there are many like this.

VISITOR ANALYSIS

Referrer
http://www.google.com/m?q=do wifes come back after losing custody?&start=20&sa=N

Search Engine Phrase
do wifes come back after losing custody?

Search Engine Name
Google

Search Engine Host
www.google.com

Host Name
74-82-64-35.rdns.blackberry.net

IP Address
74.82.64.35 [Label IP Address]

Country
United States

Why would someone look for this?  Other than because they are contemplating attempting to gain custody through the Family Court just to get their ex-wife back under their power.  This doesn’t sound like a man who loves his kids and wants the best for them, this sounds like a man who loves control and will use whatever means available to him to maintain or re-gain his power and control.

I never meant for this to be this long, so I will wrap this up by saying... not ALL men should have access to their children regardless of what the FR Advocates say.  Likewise, I can admit that not ALL women that give birth are the best parent choice either.  The natural equipment that we are born with which enables us to create life does NOT dictate how a person will be as a parent.

Since it is obvious that I have much more to say about this... there will be other posts on this subject.

 

Times Talk - Domestic Violence

 

AU: Act aids abusive fathers, imperils children

Really?  Hmmm, finally someone see it!  Hat tip to Annie for this one!

http://www.theage.com.au/national/act-aids-abusive-fathers-imperils-children-20100623-yz3u.html

Act aids abusive fathers, imperils children

ADELE HORIN

June 24, 2010

THE Family Law Act is failing to protect children from ongoing trauma at the hands of abusive and violent fathers, a study has found.

The act's aims of protecting children from violence and giving them ''meaningful involvement'' with both parents was being resolved in favour of contact even in cases of severe domestic violence, the study reveals.

Sydney University education and social work senior lecturer Lesley Laing, the report's author, said more thought needed to be given to what formed a ''meaningful relationship'' when a parent had traumatised a child through domestic violence. ''There is no requirement that a parent who has harmed a child in this way must demonstrate they can offer a safe and meaningful relationship,'' she said.

The report is based on interviews with 22 women, contacted through domestic violence services, who were negotiating parenting arrangements in the family law system. It is the first study that has allowed women experiencing domestic violence to speak about the impact of the 2006 legal changes that put greater emphasis on shared parenting while still maintaining protection in cases of violence.

The women describe a situation where they are discouraged by legal advisers and others from raising violence issues in the Family Court for fear of being seen as an ''unfriendly'' or ''alienating'' parent unwilling to support contact with the father.

''Anything that you do to try and advocate for your children is somehow twisted into being high conflict and parental alienation,'' one woman said. ''So you are basically silenced. And the children are silenced.''

Another said she had agreed to the children having sleepovers at their father's place because she felt she had no choice. Her lawyer had convinced her that if she objected the judge would give the father even more contact.

Dr Laing said some women felt guilty they had escaped violent men but their children had not. ''Forty years ago some women could only escape domestic violence by leaving the children behind, and they were pilloried,'' she said. ''Now there is a new form of child abandonment, at least part time. It's a terrible thing we are asking women to do.''

The report shows the women are battling a complex and unco-ordinated system that often sees state child protection services shunting matters to the Family Court though the court with no powers of investigation.

As well, the women battled community attitudes that regarded them as liars who misused the system. Professionals constantly stressed to the women the importance of fathering, without regard to its quality. It was commonly assumed that at least some contact was inevitable, no matter what violence had occurred, and that supervised contact would eventually move to unsupervised contact.

The study, No Way to Live, will put further pressure on federal Attorney-General Robert McClelland to amend the Family Law Act. An earlier review he commissioned recommended amendments to provide greater protection.

Children Have A Right to A Relationship with Their Father

While attempting to write up something coherent on this news article I found a post on RandiJames.com that I’d like to share with you.  I am still currently too mad...and worried for these little girls to say anything useful here!  But Randi James put it very well:

Original Post here:  http://www.randijames.com/2010/03/children-have-right-to-relationship.html

UPDATED!! AGAIN
Does watching child porn match you a bad father? Maybe, maybe not. But who'd like to bet their own children on it? Any volunteers?
No, seriously.
A father was convicted of child pornography offenses a couple of years ago.
His wife left him.
Subsequently, the father has been trying to get access to his children.
The court previously found that he had behaved inappropriately in bed with one of the children.
But JUDGE ROBERT BENJAMIN ordered that the two children, who are girls aged 8 and 10, spend weekends with their father.
Eldest daughter is afraid.
To facilitate the father's rights, JUDGE ROBERT BENJAMIN orders that:
1. the girls sleep in the same bedroom (to "support" each other), and
2. the father place a lock on the bedroom door for the girls
3. the father have an adult friend stay overnight when the girls are present
Additionally, some UNNAMED Family Court counselor has stated that the girls don't pose a risk to the father, at their current ages, when they are awake, clothed, and together.
How considerate.
Think I'm kidding? See article here.

A summary of the rights under the Convention on the Rights of the Child
Article 3 (Best interests of the child): The best interests of children must be the primary concern in making decisions that may affect them. All adults should do what is best for children. When adults make decisions, they should think about how their decisions will affect children. This particularly applies to budget, policy and law makers.
Article 4 (Protection of rights): Governments have a responsibility to take all available measures to make sure children’s rights are respected, protected and fulfilled. When countries ratify the Convention, they agree to review their laws relating to children. This involves assessing their social services, legal, health and educational systems, as well as levels of funding for these services. Governments are then obliged to take all necessary steps to ensure that the minimum standards set by the Convention in these areas are being met. They must help families protect children’s rights and create an environment where they can grow and reach their potential. In some instances, this may involve changing existing laws or creating new ones. Such legislative changes are not imposed, but come about through the same process by which any law is created or reformed within a country. Article 41 of the Convention points out the when a country already has higher legal standards than those seen in the Convention, the higher standards always prevail.
Article 5 (Parental guidance): Governments should respect the rights and responsibilities of families to direct and guide their children so that, as they grow, they learn to use their rights properly. Helping children to understand their rights does not mean pushing them to make choices with consequences that they are too young to handle. Article 5 encourages parents to deal with rights issues "in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the child". The Convention does not take responsibility for children away from their parents and give more authority to governments. It does place on governments the responsibility to protect and assist families in fulfilling their essential role as nurturers of children.
Article 6 (Survival and development): Children have the right to live. Governments should ensure that children survive and develop healthily.
Article 9 (Separation from parents): Children have the right to live with their parent(s), unless it is bad for them. Children whose parents do not live together have the right to stay in contact with both parents, unless this might hurt the child.
Article 12 (Respect for the views of the child): When adults are making decisions that affect children, children have the right to say what they think should happen and have their opinions taken into account. This does not mean that children can now tell their parents what to do. This Convention encourages adults to listen to the opinions of children and involve them in decision-making -- not give children authority over adults. Article 12 does not interfere with parents' right and responsibility to express their views on matters affecting their children. Moreover, the Convention recognizes that the level of a child’s participation in decisions must be appropriate to the child's level of maturity. Children's ability to form and express their opinions develops with age and most adults will naturally give the views of teenagers greater weight than those of a preschooler, whether in family, legal or administrative decisions.
Article 19 (Protection from all forms of violence): Children have the right to be protected from being hurt and mistreated, physically or mentally. Governments should ensure that children are properly cared for and protect them from violence, abuse and neglect by their parents, or anyone else who looks after them. In terms of discipline, the Convention does not specify what forms of punishment parents should use. However any form of discipline involving violence is unacceptable. There are ways to discipline children that are effective in helping children learn about family and social expectations for their behaviour – ones that are non-violent, are appropriate to the child's level of development and take the best interests of the child into consideration. In most countries, laws already define what sorts of punishments are considered excessive or abusive. It is up to each government to review these laws in light of the Convention.
Article 34 (Sexual exploitation): Governments should protect children from all forms of sexual exploitation and abuse. This provision in the Convention is augmented by the Optional Protocol on the sale of children, child prostitution and child pornography.
Article 36 (Other forms of exploitation): Children should be protected from any activity that takes advantage of them or could harm their welfare and development.
Contact us
Our mission is to enable journalists and media producers to tell the stories of the world's children, while creating greater public awareness, emotional involvement and social participation. Through our video products and partnerships we advocate for the protection of children's rights, mobilise political will and material resources, respond in emergencies and promote the equal rights of women and girls.
We encourage you to browse our website. Become informed on new issues, inspired by what you learn and then take whatever steps you can to make a difference in building a better world for children. Please contact us if you have any further questions. Email Tanya Turkovich: tturkovich@unicef.org

This case is one of many, internationally, involving fathers' rights to their children. We can't all be lying.

In the words of Judge Robert Lemkau (California):
And you have an ex parte request calendared for tomorrow which I am advancing today. One of you is lying, and I am very concerned...
...I am inclined to deny you ex parte request. I feel that, if you're lying, there's going to be adverse consequences...
...I'm denying your request, ma'am. I think— there's insufficient evidence in my mind...
...Well, ma'am, there's a real dispute about whether that's even true or not...
...I'm going to deny it, ma'am. My suspicion is that you're lying, but I'm going to keep the custody orders in full force and effect...
...I reviewed it and that's why I'm -- my supposition, ma'am, is that you're lying, but if I'm incorrect, you can always bring another ex parte motion but don't misrepresent the situation. If you're lying about this, there's going to be adverse consequences. My supposition is that you are lying...

Randi James: Children Have A Right to A Relationship with Their Father. I'd Like to Thank Judge Robert Benjamin on Behalf of the U.N.

Another One: DEAD!

*Warning*  if you are offended by curse words, then skip what I have to say and just read the article below....and there are grammatical errors...many run-on sentences...not my best writing in the least...BUT, it is how I feel about it!

I am getting so fucking sick and tired of seeing these fathers who murder their children, fathers that are so selfish that they then kill themselves and leave everyone else behind to pick up the fucking pieces that they have left scattered all over the place...

It was seeing this type of article on a daily basis that first prompted the murder-suicide blog and map...but after going through stories and articles on a daily basis of children getting killed for no good reason, it was better to just let that other go and not work on it for awhile. 

This father picked his son up for a visitation and killed him!  AFTER he had already threatened to kill the baby and himself...oh but wait...there’s more...THIS WAS A FUCKING COURT ORDERED VISIT!!!!!

Oh but I am sure that just like all the rest the judge will excuse his decision by telling that he could only make a decision based on the proof that he had to look at....oh what the fuck ever! 

When are WE; as a country of people, as a society; going to start making our law makers, enforcement officials and judicial system follow the damn laws?  When are we going to start holding them accountable for their poor decisions or indecision when it is allowing our children as a whole to be murdered?

Oh, that’s right...PROBABLY FUCKING NEVER!!!  Because it is more comfortable to sit in the house and say that it will never happen to you or your family and to not give a flying shit because it has nothing to do with you...guess what...those that do nothing are enabling the abusers and murders and are just as bad as they are!

SoCal father, son dead in apparent murder-suicide

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Authorities in San Bernardino County say a 25-year-old father and his 9-month-old son have died in what investigators believe is a murder-suicide.

A sheriff's news release says deputies found Stephen Garcia and son Wyatt Garcia dead in a vehicle on a rural dirt road in the Twin Peaks area early Sunday.

The release says the Hesperia Sheriff's Station had received a report Saturday night that Garcia took his son during a court-ordered visitation and threatened to kill the child and himself.

The department did not say how the pair died, only that they "sustained traumatic injuries."

The county coroner will conduct an autopsy on both father and son this week.

Stephen Garcia was from the Pinon (pin-YONE) Hills area and his son was from Yucca Valley.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/01/31/state/n183809S81.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz0eGKvjLHD

What is Best for the Kids

 

Dads 'not entitled to shared parenting'

Caroline Overington

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/dads-not-entitled-to-shared-parenting/story-e6frf7jx-1225824407249

From:The Australian

January 28, 2010 4:23PM

SEPARATED fathers are not entitled to a 50-50 time split with their children, and legislation introduced by the Howard government in 2006 should be amended to make that clear, a report says.

A 300-report by retired family court judge Richard Chisholm recommends five changes to the so-called "shared parenting" law, which he described as a "tangle" that had taken the focus off "what is best for the children," The Australian reports.

The hotly anticipated Chisholm report, which was ordered by Attorney-General Robert McClelland after the shocking death of Melbourne girl Darcey Freeman, who was thrown to her death from the West Gate Bridge last year, says the shared parenting law has made it difficult for women to raise allegations of violence in the Family Court system.

A separate, 1000-page report by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, also released this afternoon, says the majority of lawyers now believe that the 2006 reforms favour fathers over mothers, and parents over children.

The two reports into shared parenting - plus a third report, by the Family Law Council - were released simultaneously by Mr McClelland this afternoon.

Mr McClelland said the Government would review all reports before making changes but agreed that a false idea had taken hold in the community that fathers were entitled to a 50-50 time split.

“How we address that is what we've now got to decide,” he said.

Read more about the released reports at The Australian.

A Plea From Protective Mothers

Fathers Rights Naked Video

Seed Newsvine

Take a look at the figures; 90% of families being killed by dear dad

 

Over 90% of Familicides are Fathers Killing Their Families

from RightsForMothers.com by justice4mothers

Can’t say that I agree the with this explantion of motivating factor for familicide. But the fact that 196 of 211 familicides were committed by men (92.89%) shows that murder of family members are being committed by MALES more than 90% of the time. True to the Violence Policy Center’s prior studies.

Expert: Rate Of Familicides Rising

Peter Busch
Reporter, KPHO.com

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — A criminal justice professor said familicide, a crime in which a parent kills his or her family, is on the rise.”We’ve noticed over the past year a marked increase in familicides nationally,” said Neil Websdale, a professor at Northern Arizona University.Websdale believes the recession is one of the reasons behind the spike.”I think what’s happening is perpetrators are killing because they somehow perceive that they have failed as providers, lovers, fathers, and in a small number of cases, wives and mothers,” he said.

Websdale just wrote the book Familicidal Hearts, which will be released in January. In the book, he looked at 211 cases of familicide. In 196 of those cases, the father was the killer.Websdale said the recent murder-suicide in Mesa where a mother apparently killed her two teenage sons before killing herself is the exception to the rule.”Without knowing all the facts, it’s tough to say what was behind it — but it definitely looks like a rare case,” he said.

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Another Anony- Anonymiss- We are Every Where

Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Welcome to Anonymiss

Posted September 23, 2009

Hi All, and Welcome to Anonymiss!

Anonymiss is a collective of individuals who value the lives of women and children.  Our intended goal is to provide resources and information to help women and children to lead lives free from all types of abuse.   We respect that men may also encounter some of the issues contained on our site and welcome them to share in the information that is provided; however we are not geared towards males.

Links provided here do not mean that Anonymiss is affiliated in any way with those organizations.   We are providing links to sources that may or may not be able to help you, and we will not be held responsible for information that you gain from or share with these sources.

If you have content suggestions, questions, comments, etc.  Please use our Contact Form to ensure that we see your correspondence.  We make every effort to respond to each message, please be patient with us, we will get back to you.  You can also use the contact form if you would like more information about Anonymiss in general or if you would like to volunteer to help with the site and/or blog.

We welcome any and all feedback that you provide either through the contact form or through comments on the blogs.

Thank you for stopping by, please share our link with others that may find something useful here.

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Note: Cross posted from (blogger angelzfury) Anonymoms (we are everywhere).
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Filed under: Child Custody Issues Battered Women

Why Are They Dead?

The Family Courts around the world are sentencing our children to death, by enforcing visitations and custody with abusive parents.  This site not only provides research about this ever growing problem but is also a tribute to those that have bee killed at the hands of their abuser because of court orders.

Below is an excerpt from Family Court Murders 

The Untied Nations definition of Genocide set out in the Convention on Genocide is:

Article 2

In the present Convention, genocide means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:

(a) Killing members of the group;

(b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;

(c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;

(d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;

(e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.

In the news, it is common to see these murders blamed on the economy or the stress associated with divorce.

Unless you are a keen researcher, you are not privy to knowing what academics and even the UN knew for years

A silent but deadly genocide against women and children where authorities have had many opportunities to eliminate the root cause, but chose not to.

In every case these deaths are a result of child custody disputes where the court knows of a violent history, but decides to gamble with their lives for the sake of "fathers rights".

BUTTERFLIES & HURRICANES

Cross-posted from Mama Liberty 

“Children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth.” St. Joan of Arc

“I AM NOT AFRAID, I WAS BORN TO DO THIS”

St. Joan of Arc & Mama Liberty

“My child and I have been threatened and intimidated by the possibility that I may go to jail and be held in contempt due to my child refusing to have visitation with her abusive father and she may go to foster care.” Her father has told her this over and over again, as well as Judge David Miron.

This is not the first time that this mother has had to protect her child from the father. Oconto County CPS did substantiate sexual abuse allegations against the the father, he found a loop hole and had the recused Family Court Commissioner, Frank M. Calvert unsubstantiated the sexual abuse allegations.

The system has failed my child, from Oconto County and its CPS worker, Carrie Silbernagel-Burke to Marinette County Circuit Court Judge, David Miron.

This father does not have the means to care for her. She has no bed or a bedroom due to the fact he lives with his mother who only has two bedrooms.

The 11 yr old child is given the choice to sleep either on the floor in the living room or down in the basement. She has no privacy or space to call her own while she is in her fathers care. She is continually tormented and tortured by both her paternal grandmother and father, this is nothing new.

This child has been exposed to domestic violence by her father towards her mother several times. She was also a passenger in his car when he was arrested for driving drunk in the middle of the day. The CPS worker, Carrie Silbernagel-Burke told the mother:

“drinking and driving with his daughter did not make him a bad father, he made a bad choice.”

This was nothing compared to the sexual abuse my child endured and other court ordered abuse.

My child has taken her stand against her abuser, the court ordered abuse and threats of foster care by Judge David Miron.

My child is not an empty vessel, she KNOWS where she is safe. She has not lied to social workers, even with her father prodding her to.

All her needs are provided by her loving Mother and she knows that

“I am not going to shut up, give up or go away!”

“My only wish is for my daughter to be safe and sane.”

If this mother is jailed for doing what any mother would do for her child

the consequences to my accusers and judges will be as follows.

There will be a hunger strike (Troscadh), and all the battles up until now were training for we intend to win the war and expose the dirty little secrets of family court and the criminals that run it.

Change
Everything you are
And everything you were
Your number has been called
Fights, battles have begun
Revenge will surely come
Your hard times are ahead
Best
You’ve got to be the best
You’ve got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is nowChange
Everything you are
And everything you were
Your number has been called
Fights and battles ‘ve begun
Revenge will surely come
Your hard times are ahead

Best
You’ve got to be the best
You’ve got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now

Don’t
Let yourself down
Don’t let yourself go
Your last chance has arrived

Best
You’ve got to be the best
You’ve got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard
Your time is now

BUTTERFLIES & HURRICANES « MamaLiberty’s Weblog

Shared Parenting with an abuser is like playing Russian Roulette

I came across this and it really hit me...this IS what shared parenting is like.  With all of the murder-suicides that have happened this year and with so many abusive fathers killing their kids...this is it...

If you aren't convinced please start following these blogs:

Dastardly Dads     The Shared Parenting Disaster  

Intimate and Domestic Violence Homicides in the News

I have always been told that a picture is worth a 1000 words.  In this case I do hope this makes someone (hell even several someone’s) open their eyes and SEE why child around the world are dying daily!

Indiana’s top 10 bad dads!

 

From Dastardly Dads:

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

For kids’ sake, SOME dads need to be discouraged from involvment (Indianapolis, Indiana)

Stuart Showalter, a well-known white supremacist/fathers rights advocate in Indiana, has published a piece at indystar.com called “For kids’ sake, don’t discourage dad’s involvement.”

It’s a rather stupid argument. Nobody discourages the involvement of a dad who has been loving and committed from the beginning. Most of these dads are still in happy marriages with the mothers of their children. A few had more-or-less amicable separations or divorces, but continue to play an active role because everybody desires it and sees it as a good thing.

That doesn’t mean that “shared parenting” should be forced down the throat of every mother and child, or that every dad’s involvement is always a good thing. There’s no reason to get dogmatic and rigid, and ignore the individual dad’s track record.

That’s saying all dads are equally the same and equally as good. Think about that. The unemployed druggie who beat his wife and kids is just as good as they guy who was a steady worker, stayed married to the same mom for 30 years, read to the kids every night, and coached Little League? Give me a break.

Want ten quick examples–just from Indiana–of dads where the kids might have been better off if Dad hadn’t been “involved”?

1) Katron Walker of Vigo County: Abducted his two kids, killed 4-year-old son in June 2006.

2) Joshua Todd Hildebrand of Williamsburg: Smashed windshield of car with gun, hit 3-month-old daughter in head. Baby has serious brain injuries.

3) Donald Medsker of Fort Wayne: Fathered 7 kids with his own sister. He had custody of the sister from age 11.

4) Ronald Bonahannon of Midland: Shot and killed his 16-month-old son; tried to blame a “stranger.”

5) John A. Jeffers of Bloomfield: Accused of homicide in death of 5-month-old son.

6) Terry Bethel of Gary: Accused in murder of 13-month-old son.

7) Michael Stayer of Whitestown: Beat wife to death with 5-year-old son as witness.

8) William Foster of Beech Grove: Killed 4-month-old son.

9) Joseph Warnock of Brownsburg: Killed wife in front of 2 daughters.

10) Matthew D. Schutz of Lafayette: Accused of killing 15-week-old daughter.

Is America really this gullible? Parental Alienation Syndrome

 

From RightsForMothers.com 

Parental Alienation Syndrome: How Gullible Are We?

Up for inclusion in the new DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the most widely used psychiatric reference in the world) is the so-called “Parental Alienation Syndrome,” a syndrome invented by the pedophile-loving psychologist Dr. Richard Gardner, who committed suicide eventually.  Also up for inclusion again is making women’s menstrual cycles a psychiatric syndrome. Geezzzzz.

Money-grubbing nutcase lawyers and/or psychologists (in some cases they have both degrees!) work to get these so-called syndromes included so they can use them as a basis for taking children from protective parents (and make more money).  They use this twisted science as a basis for their claims…just how gullible do they think we all are?  Apparently many judges are, and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges are trying to correct this: see Family Courts are Warned They Should Not Accept So-called “Parental Alienation Syndrome”.

Here is a good example of how gullible people can be when you start throwing out so-called “scientific claims”:

Dihydrogen Monoxide

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.”

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. it is a major component in acid rain 3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. accidental inhalation can kill you 5. it contributes to erosion 6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was actually just plain old water.

The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible Are We?”

He feels the conclusion is obvious.

http://www.snopes.com/science/dhmo.asp

Abuse: Maternal Deprivation

 

Maternal Deprivation Abuse

Victims of domestic violence suffer physical and emotional trauma at the hands of their abusers. Some don’t escape these relationships alive. But even for those who are fortunate enough to get out with their lives, their ordeal isn’t necessarily over. In many cases their tormentors still pose a threat to them and their children. And as they try to protect themselves and their loved ones they are often victimized again; this time by the very legal system they thought would provide them with justice and a safety net.

There are way too many horror stories out there about how these vulnerable women are subjected to even more abuse as they go through the system. And one of the most troublesome scenarios is when the courts issue a ruling that removes their children from them, sometimes awarding custody to the abuser.

On the Juror Thirteen show on August 26 we’ll talk about this problem with three women who can speak from personal experience. Advocate and author Susan Murphy-Milano, and Janice Levinson and Claudine Dombrowski of the Protective Mothers Alliance will discuss what mothers can do to bring about change in the treatment of protective mothers and their children in family court proceedings. All three have lost children to maternal deprivation abuse.

You can hear the show beginning at 9 pm Eastern at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dennisngriffin. Your questions or comments can be called in by phone or made through the show’s chat room.

Google, the gender confused search engine

 

Imagine a mom who has just had her kids removed from her care by a family court judge who gave them to the father that abused her and her children.  Imagine if you will how she would feel when she starts searching on the internet for a way to help her kids and she first tries searching for “child custody rights” and up pops all these father’s rights sites.  Does this mean that her children have no rights, that only the father does?  She gives up on that avenue of searching and searched for “motherless statistics gov” and Google then asks:  “Did you mean: fatherless statistics gov”.  Does this mean that this mom has no rights or stats or anything that she may turn to in order to protect her kids, or does it mean that the family courts in this country have taken over our search engines as well as the ability of the mother to protect her kids?

 

From Father’s Rights Movement Naked (thanks girls, this is funny, sad and pathetic at the same time…you gals did a good job):

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The FR Google Conspiracy

Abusers Awareness Day!!

Thanks Anonymums for the great graphic!

Father’s Rights groups ran wild trying to get our governors to proclaim today “Parental Alienation Awareness Day.” Of the few governors that signed, I believe most were duped about this claim often used by abusive parents, being such an easy online process for the most part. One state even states on their website when applying for a proclamation:

“Issuance of a proclamation does not constitute an endorsement by the Governor.”

Good try guys. People are learning the truth of the “Parental Alienation” scam meant to support the Whores of the Court by the abusers who hire them. Your cult even had to run to Canada to hold a conference on this.

The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges discredited the theory. It stated:

The discredited “diagnosis” of “PAS” (or allegation of “parental alienation”), quite apart from its scientific invalidity, inappropriately asks the court to assume that the children’s behaviors and attitudes toward the parent who claims to be “alienated” have no grounding in reality. It also diverts attention away from the behaviors of the abusive parent, who may have directly influenced the children’s responses by acting in violent, disrespectful, intimidating, humiliating and/or discrediting ways toward the children themselves, or the children’s other parent.

Yes, they really did report this. Family court judges should be made to read this! See Page 24 of the report below.

Navigating Custody & Visitation Evaluations in Cases with Domestic Violence: A Judge’s Guide by Clare Dalton LLM, et.al., please click here.

Are good fathers sucked in by this? You betcha. With all due respect to several fathers who respectfully comment here, you guys have been duped too. Call it what it is….if your child has been turned from you, don’t allow someone to label it parental alienation, call it what it is….parental kidnapping, parent-bashing, whatever. Call it what it is.